Hi im
A bit of a long story so here we go.
I have a friend who used to b a boyfriend on and off. I have just recently been diagnosed with a rare form of lymphoma. He has been coming over helping me with mowing lawn snd helping me in the house.
Last night i wasnt feeling very well took my pain meds (they knock me out) he said he would stay until i was completely out of it.
I woke up eith me completly naked with his finger in the cooki jar. I was so shocked. He told me that i had put my hand on his penis so he thought i wanted sex. I told him no and that if i did im sorry but could he respect my wishes.
An hour later i woke up to him putting my hand on his penis with his finger back in my cooki jar.
I told him to stop and that it really is not acceptable. He said that i asked him to.
I feel so dirty and uncleen. How do i talk to him about this behavior without coming across as being ungrateful for his help.
Thanks im
8 Replies
Sorry you have been violated, get him out of your house now! There are services you can use it get help around the house that won't involve being molested, violated or raped in your sleep! This guy has no boundaries. You said no once and he did it again? This guy had no understanding of the term 'consent'. He is not safe to be around. Especially while you are taking medication.
100% agree! Get him out of your life... and better yet, press charges! What a creep. That is disgusting!!!! Who cares if he feels unappreciated, he's using you for his own gratification what a sick bastard!
Yep, he waited for her to pass out and then molested her, despite pretending to be a good guy and telling her he'd leave. He took full advantage of this situation. Even if she had said she wanted it she can't give consent to anything while drugged! Good guys don't take advantage of women who are drugged out of there minds. There is no grey area.
This is the second post I've read recently like this. It makes me physically ill.
He knew you were sick. He knew you were on serious pain medication. He chose to stay, knowing you'd be incredibly out of it.
He wanted a 'reward' for helping.
You are not ungrateful - he's a disgusting creep.
It sounds like he planned it when be decided to stay until you were 'out of it'.
Even if you did ask him to touch you (which I seriously, seriously doubt) - he did it twice. Once after you made it clear he wasn't to even if you asked.
He took advantage of you.
Please don't allow him back into your house. It'll send him the message that what he did was okay.
I hope you're okay and I wish you the best with everything you're going through.
If you need someone to talk to, remember the IM sisterhood is always here. x
Makes me want to vomit too. It's time that parents of boys and girls include the issue of consent as part of sex education because clearly something is really really wrong. It's not all about what goes in what hole!
I agree with sex education needing a change. I had a boyfriend who would do whatever he pleased to me when I was asleep. I didn't realize it was classed as rape until after it was too late to do anything about it. He just kept making excuses, pretending that he was asleep or that I initiated it, or that I was to blame because I had a few drinks before bed. I finally realized it was him, not me, but further education would of prevented years of abuse for me.
I had this happen by someone who thought he deserved thanks for what he did. I would be out stone cold(unsure if I was heavy sleeper or worse as I could never remember night before) and wake up naked and tender down there with him asking how I slept, I eventually got him to admit it . It is sexual assault and the fact you are sick makes it even worse.
You are not dirty. You are not unclean. You were assaulted and you owe him nothing. Cut all ties with him and simply tell him that his behaviour was unacceptable. He is taking advantage of you and you are in a very dangerous situation, especially with drugs that knock you out. I would be tempted to call the police given what he has done to you - especially when you told him it was not ok after the first time.