I am the very lucky mother of 3 boys and although I had always wanted 3 children and not 4, I just can't seem to shake the feeling that I want a daughter. I really do! Obviously having another baby will not guarantee that I'll have a girl, but I just don't feel done!! Has anyone else been in the same position? Did your desire for a daughter fade with time? It's not about wanting a girly girl for the dresses/dolls etc....its more about the experiencing both sides of parenting and to be honest, when I pictured my future family, I always thought I'd have a mix of sexes. Having a fourth baby would be possible in terms of space/finances etc but it's a huge decision.
6 Replies
My cousin ended up with 5 boys that way, good luck what ever you decide
I have five boys lol. I wonder if I'm the cousin of the previous commenter...
I love them all. They're awesome kids. I didn't keep trying for a girl though. It just kind of happened like that.
Honestly I wouldn't try again if that's the only reason. You might be extremely disappointed if you have another boy.
I got my girl eventually. Two of them actually! Twin grand daughters :)
I can guarantee you aren't my cousin lol actually they were trying for a girl, just one more try for a girl..
I'd have loved a girl, I have one boy. Medical reasons amongst other things say no more babies for me. You get over it, and in my experience girls can be very ungirly and all the things I dreamt of doing with a girl I do with my son anyway!
At the end of the day it's just a penis or vagina, it doesn't guarantee a personality a close relationship or even the interests you'd imagine you'd share.
But then I was raised in a home where we taught how to service cars and change tyres, play in dirt and go to ballet :)
If your last baby had of been a girl do you think you'd still want another? If not then I'd say having a 4th would be for the wrong reasons and you could end up VERY disappointed.
If your youngest is under 3yo it is quite possible this yearning is your biological cave woman telling you to procreate. It has nothing to do with your head or heart at all - just survival of the species programming telling you to have a baby. I was surprised how strong this urge was when I had my kids - I knew I couldn't have coped with them any closer than we planned but mother nature kept interfering with these strong 'have a baby' urges... weird...
Eek, there's a whole lot of pressure if you do decide to go again. I can read your desperation in your writing. Right now, picture your pregant, you've just had the gender scan... it's a boy. How do you feel? Really imagine how you will feel finding out that you're going to have another boy? I completely understand wanting to experience parenting both genders. We had two girls, wanted to try for a boy... but I knew I was too invested in it. So we put it off. A couple of years later, my husband actually came to me and said he wanted another baby. There was no talk of 'son' etc. We talked about it. I really, really accepted the idea of having three daughters. Picked a name for her.. etc etc etc. BUT I thought I'd go ahead and try 'gender swaying'. Various things you can do to hedge your bet of getting either gender. Timing is very important. For a girl, you would have sex 5,4 and 3 days out from ovulation and then STOP. Boy sperm supposedely die off, so only girls are left when your egg arrives. It's the opposite for a boy - you have to have sex the DAY you ovulate. Anyway, so we tried that and a lot of other things you can do to 'sway' it... and we did get a son. BUT, we know deep down that we truly would have been happy either way and we just wanted three kids. I think you need to really do some soul searching. I would wait until it's 4 kids you want... and not just a daughter. Doesn't mean you can't try gender swaying to give the girl a go though. It has worked for a lot of people. You have about a 70% chance when you do EVERYTHING.