Hi IMs, this is very difficult for me so no judgment please! After 2 kids and 30kg weight gain (and loss!) I feel like my body is completely messed up. I've set myself a goal of putting on a swimsuit and swimming at Christmas, because my daughters have never seen me swim, or wear bathers. Even my SO has only seen me swim twice. I am really aware that my girls look up to me and I want to have fun with them in the pool and let them have happy memories of their mum instead of her hiding behind a magazine on the pool deck.
I'm really triggered by this because I really do have a terrible body, I have a tankini with boy-shorts so we're not talking about string bikinis, but omg I'm not looking forward to going out with not much on!
I have a week to psych myself up. One week to break down 15 years of body hate.
I really need advice on how I'm going to do this. Serious advice. I don't buy into "want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body!" because that's actually not helpful. Body hate really hurts.
Be kind, mamas!
Needing help to wear a swimsuit!
Needing help to wear a swimsuit!
Posted in:
Self Care
10 Replies
There are so many swimsuits out there that will help with your good points. Invest in a good swim suit that's flattering there are also lots of nice cover ups/sarongs around so you do feel so on show. Go out there and own it. You can do it
No bikini body here! And I'm not going to tell you to get one, or me to get one. I'm about 35kgs over weight. I have massive stretch marks on my thighs, massive boobs (h cups), a very wobbly belly, huge arms.
I have to order my bathers online from zodee to get a bra cup that actually is a H and actually gives me the support I needed though my boobs floating away on there own lol
I would try and get a small swim in before Christmas Day. Seriously though, nobody is looking. We judge ourselves more than anyone else does. Go check out any swim centre or beach, genuinely look at the range of sizes and body shapes. Seriously when you really look at the cellulite, stretch marks, wobbly bellies, obesity, you start to realise you aren't alone.
Also start to concentrate on what your body can do, and how amazing that is not what it looks like. My body can lift amazing weights, I'm strong, I can swim, I can jump, I'm lucky to have that and it's my responsibility to not take that for granted. So I use it, because not everyone is as lucky as You and I.
Be brave for your girls! Set an example for them. I'm sure you don't want them experiencing 'body hate' so take a deep breath and keep reminding yourself you're setting a good example for them!
Ask yourself if you will regret it once you've done it? If the answer is no, you know what you have to do, don't let yourself miss out on this! Think of how much fun you'll have swimming with your girls and making memories. Think of how proud you'll be of yourself. You deserve to feel that pride!
I love your attitude. I think you're so right we have to lead by example for our daughters.
Buy good swimmers, something that fits, covers, stays put and flatters that's the first important bit. Then buy a lovely sarong or beach kaftan. Then youre ready to get there, all you have to do is the drop and dash, drop the cover and get in the water and you're there!
And no matter how you feel inside, walk those ten steps slowly and proudly and smile knowing you're doing it for your girls and you know how you look to everyone else? Like you're not the one sitting on the side! You're the active mum! You should feel great about yourself.
This one is something I am all to familiar with. I have no self confidence in my body I have fluctuated weight for years and this summer I am back on the heavier side of things. But I am not going to let that stop me. I generally wear a surf shirt and swimmer bottoms as I can't stand chaff from boardies. Start small, spend the day walking around the house in what you choose to wear get comfortable in those surroundings first. Head to the beach just to people watch. Try not to look like a creep but go to the beach or swimming pool and admire all the different shapes and sizes. This always help me to normalise my size and body issues. Then maybe head somewhere in public that may not have as many people and go for a swim. Then hopefully it's only upward from there. Small steps beautiful!
Ok so I weigh 140kg, have faded but still visible stretch marks on my arms, shoulders, and back of knees. I started swimming a year ago to get healthy and strong and I feel amazing. 10kg down.
Started off self conscious until I realised that no-ones really looking and you shouldn't deprive yourself of doing something as enjoyable as swimming.
My son, husband and friends love me no matter what I look like so that's all that matters.
I've tried a few different swimsuits combos. Swimsuit with swim skirt, boardies and rash top, all too bulky and uncomfortable.
I've recently discovered the swim dress and am totally sold on it. Good breast and tummy support. Not bulky but covers the tops of my thighs and the little bit or skirting is very flattering over the gut.
I order my suits from this great US website - Swimsuits for All - they often have sales and a huge variety of styles and sizes.
The thing is you just have to take the plunge so to speak. The more you go swimming, the more confident and comfortable you will be in your swimmers. Just remember there are so many body types out there, people really aren't paying attention.
Best of luck, I know it's tough xx
You only live once so get ya kit off and get amongst it! Don't let fear stop u from creating memories. The positives of joining in the fun far out weigh the negatives and some times you just have to be brave and say 'stuff it!'
***UPDATE***
I did it and IT FELT GREAT!
Except that I misjudged my size and I need a smaller suit lol...
But it was awesome and my kids were so pleased!
Congratulations IM. You are an inspiration to us all