Just wondering how you become one of those people everyone loves?
Ive never been the pretty ones so that part doesn't faze me. But now people post stuff on Facebook ect and everyone just loves them but me not so much, i used to be out there an loud and since having kids I can't get out as much as i once did and feel I have no real friends
I don't really know what im asking or even why just envious of others when people described them as the sweetest, nicest most beautiful girl in the room who can light it up. I'm not envious of others relationships anymore been there so many times lately and turns out the person had a crap relationship with their partner and broke up, me and my husband have an awesome life. Just envious of woman they say can light up the room with her smile and every one loves her. I want to be one of those people. How do you become one? Or are you born with it?
8 Replies
I get a high number of likes and comments. It's all meaningless. I would still only have 5 people who I think would come to my birthday party or funeral! Facebook is not real life.
As to the person who lights up a room, yes I have been her. It's exhausting, and I can tell you now, you are not allowed to have a bad day, be sad or be normal. People only want you to have fun, do nice things for them or get in your pants so they can say 'they did you'. It's empty, cold and lonely. I'm pretty sure I was born with it because I seemed to take to being on stage in various forms easily and people said I lit up the room as a child. But again it is cold, lonely and you get used all the time.
I haven't had a deep meaningful relationship with a man since I was 20 because they want me to be happy all the time, and when they realise I'm a normal person they loose interest very quickly and despite lighting up a room at a party there are days like everyone where I just want to go back to bed.
And don't make the mistake of telling someone you are having a bad time of it. It's just simply not allowed or comprehended.
Those people that enter a room and 'light it up' - do you think they know they do that? How do they light it up anyway? Is it their beauty?
No. I think it's just they're great to be around. They're funny, kind, intelligent, considerate etc probably a good dose of confident - so when they walk in people are like 'YES! Jane is here!' They're people that others want to be around.
If it's a stranger it must just be beauty. But what if they're dull, thick as two planks and just plain nasty? It's short lived.
I say just be yourself. Treat others how you like to be treated.
I think they do absolutely know. I think people like that are genuinely very in tune socially. They know the do's and don'ts. It's an emotional IQ thing. Doesn't make it bad. I just think some people are born very social aware and others...not so much. But yes, they do know.
Facebook they have hundreds of friends and join groups designed to gather people who share their opinions then they all like each others posts and photos. Its meaningless. I deleted my profile it was too much, a hundred likes on garbage and I felt I had to 'like' all these things I couldn't care less about because they kept liking mine I didn't want to be rude. Its all rubbish. And trust me they don't speak nicely about each other in real life.
I also agree a lot is about looks. I used to live with a gorgeous young girl she was stunning, we were besties and very much alike, so I'd notice the difference. I'd say something and a few people close by would chat (which is my style) she'd walk in and say the exact same thing and the response would be so different.
And I also agree, you never know what people are saying about you. If you have gorgeous friends in real life and treat them right, trust that they probably say things about you that you unfortunately don't get to hear.
Usually people who 'light up a room' are just super loving and kind, but I do have to say that the couple of girls on my FB who I think are like that, do make a 'job' of it. They are putting on a show. One, that they've found has worked for them over the years. There's nothing wrong with it. They're likely more social than most. But a show, of some sort, is needed, to 'light up a room'. The older I get the more contrived I find it. Sometimes, rather than trying to be someone, I think it's better to get off FB entirely and live your real life exactly how you are. This year, I my resolution was to generally post less. Share less. Not put up pictures every time we went somewhere and did something cool, didn't take pics of food I made, or my latest haircut... or every single thing my kids did that was awesome. I withdrew a lot. And you know what? it's been completely fantastic! I don't even think to grab my phone when we're out to take a picture of the day, just so I can later show my FB friends. It's all fake! Now when I see other people do this, I realise how much energy it takes from them... and that they are actually missing out on real life social interactions and full appreciating the moment, just so they can flash it to everyone else. Just do you.
There are some very genuine people that do light up the room they seem to have an aura about them, yet there are others that just have to be the centre of attention and make it all about them. I was celebrating a special occasion one year and a friend of mine somehow turned it around to be all about her. As the years went by I noticed more about how she would make every thing about her.
Just be true to yourself and treat others the way you like to be treated and if they cannot treat you with the same respect, they are just using you to benefit themselves.
Oh wow! Man I could've posted this & am glad you were so brave & honest! I totally feel the same as you!! What is it that gets other ppl called "Lovely" and "beautiful lady" & etc, and swarmed over by likes & posts & comments & their kids get "aww bless" & "gorgeous" & etc?! And sound so involved, included, & attended to. And I see ppl publicly thank others for their cakes or home-delivery in times of need etc ..... Yet I am the person/friend who uplifts others, likes & comments positively on pics, tries to feel connected & involved with others by being part of their lives or at least commenting, commiserating, &/or congratulating, has paid for gifts & provided meals etc for friends ... & gets no public recognition, not much reciprocation on likes & comments, and feel starved to be called beautiful & lovely lady etc. Some ppl are just born under favouritism or a lucky star or something , and on one hand i can laugh/joke about it & use a :-p as that's just the way it is, but on the other hand i feel very hurt & defeated & puzzled & rejected. I know life is not all about public recognition, at least as a Christian it should not be all about self-seeking & glory etc, but I feel like I give & give, & keep mostly my positives online plus a few realities (ie headachey, or feeling bit low) but it's hard seeing other Christian Fb friends who barely have to try, being so nourished & publicly praised & loved & appreciated, when I don't even for the same things! I dont know what the answer is. :( :-/. My hubby days Fb is the modern-day biggest curse lol