Hi IM's. I was looking for ideas to help my 3 boys (9, 7 & 5) to stop being (excuse the language) selfish little shits. They are all from a split family, and I know there's not a lot of discipline at their other houses. When one of them came home and asked "I get christmas presents at nannys place and here right?" I saw red.
My boys certainly don't want for anything, but nor do they get everything they want. All three will help with chores (no pocket money) like filling and emptying the dishwasher, helping with dinner, getting themselves ready for school, and putting the washing on.
They don't look after their toys and I have heard one saying to another "Its ok if you break it, mum will buy you another one". I have severely culled their toys and making them earn them back with good behavior.
I explained to them about the salvos and the "I believe in Christmas" toy drive and we went shopping today for presents to put under their tree. And they were whinging that they never get presents. But I don't think it meant much to them.
Does anyone have ideas on how I can help them understand how much they have, and how little others have. I am in Cairns if that helps. TIA
Getting kids to think about others
Getting kids to think about others
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Parenthood Guilt, Behaviour
4 Replies
unfortunately until they see how others live they are going to feel this way. I would however start teaching them the value of a dollar. How hard someone has to work to earn money talking to them about budgeting, costs of electricity, gas etc doesn't have to be exact or in detail but just an understanding that there isn't an endless supply of money.
most organisations won't take child volunteers these days due to insurance issues, but if you could find something that would probably help
I think it's quite normal to think the way your boys think at this age though
Tell them no, santa will come to one house you need to tell him where you will be.
And teach them to give, not just take.
I think you have the right idea, buying gifts is beautiful of you, but they see spending your money as easy so wouldn't have learnt anything. Perhaps get them involved in a charity, children or animals get their investment and then encourage them to find their own way to help. (garage sale their toys, wash cars etc)
I used to tell my kids Santa only gives a small inexpensive gift to the boys and girls around the world and I buy their presents. I wanted them to know their things didn't come from some magic place and were thus free. I'm not sure if that will help given you overheard one say you'd replace broken toys.
It is really hard. I was very lucky my kids just got it. However, we really struggled for many years. I remember one year my son brought his Christmas present to me almost in tears (a game boy colour). He asked 'did Santa bring this?' I said 'no. I bought it' - he asked 'how did you afford it?'
I told him I went without treats for myself and saved the money because I really wanted him to have it because he's a good boy. He felt genuinely guilty. He was only 7.
He's now 22 and still a very humble little boy in many ways.
There is no quick answer and I think what you have done will help. Maybe set a budget for Christmas and have them choose what they get with that money. It takes away the magic of surprise but it might help them appreciate money and their things more.
Good luck and Merry Christmas xx
Keep forcing it. My mum used to drag me around to deliver meals on wheels when I was little. I HATED it at the time. I remember being so annoyed that she gave all these delicious baked goods away (she would pick leftovers up from a bakery and take them to the elderly). But she wouldn't let me have ANY. Not a single, tiny bite. And I remember complaining and whinging. Only when I was older, did I truly appreciate what she did for me. I'm very, very compassionate/empathetic now. it's all the little lessons that you don't think sink in, but truly do. My Mum would give the shirt off her back to a stranger if they needed. She always showed me that. Despite my youthful disdain, I got it in the end.