Hi ladies I need your opinion and advise.
I don't seem to make many friendships with other women. This upsets me because I been analysing what I've been doing for some time now and I'm always friendly and approachable.
I'm conscious of all the things that make conversations fizzle out I.e talking about ones self too much being negative etc. But cant seem to make it to the next meet up for coffee, play date stage etc. I'm always the inviter not the invitee :(
last night my husband and I attended his Xmas work party, and I made my best effort to talk to everyone. And to spend a bit extra time with the wives and gf's because we're new to town and had plenty of topics of conversation and things to find out about the area. However conversations we're always cut short by the quick exit excuse "sorry I've got to go to the bathroom" I'm not saying it's wasn't genuine but saw quite a number just move on to the next group of people. I asked my husband is there something I'm saying or doing? He said no as he'd been with me for a few conversations, so why? He told me that I'm intimidatingly to other women. He said did you not notice that none of the guys did that, I just guess'd that they were being polite.
I did make an effort to look nice and I was being forward in putting myself out there introducing myself and starting a conversation with those who were by themselves. Does this make me intimidating?
I really want to understand what I'm doing wrong? And more so how do I fix it?
Right now I feel like I've branded myself as the overly happy psycho is this how I'm perceived or is it jealousy and fear that keep them away?
4 Replies
Nope you are not a psycho. I also struggle with female friends. The one close female friend I do have said women find me intimidating because I come across as having it all together and they think there husbands are looking at my boobs! To be honest I think there husbands are looking at my boobs but I can't hide them, and I can't afford a boob reduction. And if they got to know me they would find out I absolutely don't have my shit together at all, I'm just not the sort to tell people how shit my life is after knowing them for 10 minutes. Plus I'm so not interested in someone else's husband.
I've found as I've gotten older friendships have gotten easier, I'm in my early 40s now and females my age seem to be more confident and less judgemental.
Some women forget they are not in high school. Actually even their hubby can be the same. Try not to stress to much as a loner with a heap of people who hate me and threaten me, it is not worth it. Do not try to be nice to bitchy people with a stick up their arse. You will find friends, they are probably like you and don't fit their little groups... Which is not a bad thing
Tried self deprecation? I think it's crazy that if you are somewhat attractive, you have to be like this, but seriously, you do. SUCKS. I feel like all I every do is jokingly take the piss out of myself, because I've realised it makes me more approachable. I've noticed a lot of popular attractive people do this (not that I'm some ridiculously good looking human being btw - but I'm not overweight and put in a little bit of effort) Take the piss out of yourself.. Make them laugh.. That's usually a way in, at least. then you can be a 'happy pyscho' and they've already accepted you.. haha. I do have trouble also. I'm a bit 'bubbly', too. I think it is a bit much for some..
Amen!!! Following