Hi all!
I am a single mother of 2, a young single mother so there is a lot of stigma that surrounds me. I have learnt to live with that though, yet I cant help it when I am trying to make "life decisions" all I can think of is what others are going to say and how it will affect me. Point is I'm asking for advice, Please!!
I work already, I study and I have my little children unless I am working or studying, and the occasional social event. But I am thinking of getting another full time job. Purely for the money as I really want to save for a new house and car and my current income only just covers our living expenses! But I'm worried about two things: 1. Not spending enough valuable time with my kids & 2. The judgments from everyone around me
I really know I shouldn't worry about what others will say, but I am only human
What should I do?
4 Replies
I know lots of single mums that work full time, as do i know lots of coupled families where both parents work full time. I have nothing but admiration for them. I think the time you will have with your kids would be better quality time then say the time a non working parent has. Does that makes sense?
I personally choose the memories.
We have a small house and a crappy car. My husband's income only just covers everything, but we have a house full of love to make up for it.
I'll be putting my son in daycare soon, mostly for social development. And I'll look for a part time job then.
But until he's ready for that, I'll enjoy the memories. They'll be what really matters in the end.
But, that's just my personal choice.
Every family is different and I'm lucky to have the wonderful support from my husband. A lot of families don't have that.
So really, forget about what everyone else thinks. You'll be judged no matter what you do. So @#$& everyone and do what's best for you and your little family.
Sit down and crunch the numbers in detail. How much could you realistically earn in a full time job. Compare travel, childcare, loss of Centrelink benefits.
Also how will working full time effect your ability to study, be realistic as housework, Drs appointments errands, study and time with your kids will all have to adjusted.
When you have finished study will you be able to get a higher paid job than you would be able to get now? Sometimes you have to think long term. Look at how much realistically you will be better off, is it worth it yet.
I don't think you have anything to prove regarding your work ethic, you study and you work. Is it possible to speed up the study so that gets you to a better paid job sooner?
i had a wake up call last yr. showing me life is too short to have little time with your children, I'm 28 2 young kids hubby works away month on month off. I used to work full time including that was a sleep over shift. Last yr a friends baby passed 8 months old. Then 4 weeks later a friend whom was 27 passed away suddenly from a fall, leaving behind 2 kids the same age as mine. From that I wanted to have more time with my kids as you don't know when your time is up not theirs!!! You want then to grow old but you never know. A house is a house no matter how big, how small, yours or your renting, it is a roof over your heads, the kids will love you not the house, you make it a home.
Choose your kids anyday and everyday. Make lasting memories, we struggle some weeks but my kids are happier as they see me more. When they get to school you won't see them. Life's to short to put money and materialistic things before your kids. They will remember mum more than anything! Make you their memory.