Hi Ladies and gents,
Last week my husband and I discovered we are pregnant with baby #2. I feel ashamed to say that I'm not excited.
We lost a baby early on prior to my son being born, and it took so long to not be scared to see blood everytime I went to the bathroom when I was pregnant with my son.
My GP is not the most delicate of people and when he called with my positive blood test, my initial elation was replaced by, maybe grief? He said that my levels were really low and that I had to get another test in a week to make sure this pregnancy was viable. So now I am waiting for the test tomorrow - but also to miscarry again.
He also said that I needed to stop breastfeeding my 14mo pretty much immediately. Breastfeeding was not super easy for us and I am determined to allow my son the chance to wean as he wishes. My OB has since given then ok for this.
We aren't telling family as we want to share the news at Christmas so it's just hubby and I for now. I am just finding it so hard to feel excited for this new baby. I just feel like I'm going to lose this baby too. I have dreamed that I have the last four or five nights.
Any suggestions as to how to start to feeling positive?
5 Replies
Hey Hun, firstly congratulations!!!
I have no advice on staying positive as I couldn't but I wanted to say that is normal and your fears are completely normal.
I had multiple losses before first bub and again before 2nd.
I understand how hard it is to believe it's real but that's just our heads trying to protect heart from the hurt.
I never believed it was real until they were born and felt like a real bitch that I could only fake the excitement that everyone expected me to show.
Good luck with your next test I have everything crossed for you!!
Hey hun almost 12 months ago to the day I was exactly in your position. Every single time I went to the bathroom I was expecting to see blood. Every twinge I was here we go again. To be honest I was like that throughout the whole pregnancy. For me personally and what I have been through since bub was born ( severe pnd to the point of hospitalisation). My doctors have argeed (and looking back) I was depressed thoughtout my pregnacy. My only suggestion is to talk to someone and tell them how you are feeling. There is absoultly nothing wrong with how you are feeling and I think its a natural response. But please let someone know how you are feeling . Good luck mumma xx
What wonderful news for you! Congratulations!
Having had 5 pregnancies and only 1 successful one, when I fell pregnant this time it was terrifying and exciting all at once. I too dreamt that I lost the pregnancy, but I think it was just an extension of the fears I was experiencing consciously. My dr has however been fantastic and ordered scans to ensure all was well etc, which you could always ask about, to ease your mind.
It's still a long wait till bub is born, so I can only suggest focusing on what you can do. Maybe take vitamins, stay healthy, enjoy time with your child now while you can focus 100% on them, and know that you are doing what you can to grow this baby. If you are really struggling, try talking to someone confidentially... Maybe a counsellor or a good friend, someone who can just listen to your worries without needing to 'fix' it all for you.
Good luck! I really hope everything goes well for you!!
I totally understand. I had 2 normal pregnancies, followed by 3 early miscarriages. Now I am pregnant again, but I have only just started to get excited (I'm almost 11 weeks). It's too hard to get excited early on when you are preparing yourself for a loss. The excitement will come :)
It all sounds perfectly normal. You've been through a rough time losing a child previously and it takes a bit of time to recover from that. I experienced an ectopic pregnancy a year before falling pregnant again. When I a finally got a positive result, I had the same doubts. It was hard to be excited and I couldn't connect with my unborn baby for months. I didn't want to get my hopes up. Eventually that fades and if it's all on track, you will find your excitement. Take it easy and at your own pace :) I wish you the best of luck!