Hi! So I have 2 under 2... both horrible sleepers (my fault for co-sleeping) my eldest 20mths is really bad. I have tried everything and anything from sleep training to cuddly toys and dolls, she has only ever slept through the night 2 times since born! And its not just the sleeping its the whole going to bed. She throws tantrums, kicks punches ect this goes on for an hour sometimes two. Then wakes every 45mins screaming like she's having nightmares? But I was told that they dont start bad dreams untill 3? And this has been happening since 6mths. So I usually give in and put her in with me at 1am, she still wakes 3-4 times. And its not as though she has a hard life, so if it was nightmares why? its always been routine and me and her dad are in love, same house, same daycare, we go to the park, im a stay at home mum she maybe a little spoiled but definitely not neglected or in stressful situations. My son 7months still breastfeeding (currently co sleeping) he sleeps in his cot during day but still feeds 3x at night. So I have to kids in bed with me while dad sleeps on the couch. And im just exhausted. I get maybe 2hrs of uninterrupted sleep a night, I really don't know what to do to fix this rut im in. I have no energy to! No family or friends to help, dad works all the time, I find it hard to keep up with kids housework and food preparation. Any ideas how or what I could do? Or why my girl hates bed time and sleep? Thanks in advance!
5 Replies
I feel your pain, although very different sleep problems here. But I'm good after 21 years of making practical decisions to improve our weird sleep situation. So I'm going to make some suggestions, that may or may not be options.
It sounds like your youngest is the better sleeper, so I would start looking at ways to get your youngest out of bed so you are only being woken up by one. So getting the youngest of the boob and in the cot at night time, with dad doing the bottles. Yes that sucks but you BOTH need sleep.
Has your daughter been tested for silent reflux? Has she had a sleep study done to rule out underlying sleep problems? I'd be getting on to that ASAP. Personally If you are giving in in the middle of the night you might as well start the night with her in bed with you, because it sets up a cycle of drama and you caving in, cave in before the drama, you aren't going to be able to follow through because you are so exhausted anyway.
Get as much help as you can during the day childcare for both kids etc, so you can sleep.
Now this is going to sound really odd, because it's probably the last thing that's occurred to you. DONT get pregnant. Make sure your contraceptive is water tight. These things have a way of cropping up when we least expect it, really tired, forgot to take the pill, it was the only time we had sex in 6 months and bam!!!
Anyway I hope something in there was helpful. I do understand how you feel my son has a very rare cyclical sleep disorder that often leaves me up until 4 am.
Start training tour youngest now to sleep in a cot or bassinet it will be less traumatic while their young. Your eldest have you tried the camp out method?? As hard as it is i think you and hubby are just going to have to get really tough with your oldest and not give in its going to be hell for about 2 weeks but it will get better.
Yep I have a bad sleeper, five years old and still up a few times each night.we've tried everything, it's improved a little, going to bed isn't hard now but she just doesn't sleep well and never has, wakes up screaming or crying frequently.
New baby already sleeps through the night, and the five year Olds keeping me up. Go figure...
I'd just keep her in with you for awhile longer. set up your bed so you can sleep comfortably with them. Maybe even mattress or two on the floor.
It might be worth talking to Tresillian or the equivalent in your state. My sister has used them with both of her kids and made the world of difference
First of all, I co slept with all my babies at one time or another and they all slept through 6+hrs from a couple of weeks old. It's not your fault they are not sleeping, some kids just don't. It might be worth talking to your local community health nurse or Dr about getting some professional help with sleep training. Spending some time in a sleep clinic. Being a mum is full of guilt trips, don't go on this one, it's not your fault.