I'll get to my question in the end, but just let me vent/explain for a moment first.
I'm pregnant with my third child and decided to be surprised with the gender.
I had the scan, had the gender written down and gave that to my partner.
In the meantime, everyone around me was putting in their 2 cents as to what they thought it was. 90% said boy.
I had a strong instinct that I was having a girl, but the overwhelming response from everyone, had my thoughts clouded with 'boy'. So much so, I started feeling like maybe it was a boy. (didn't matter to me as I had a boy and a girl already)
Well we opened up the card the other day, and it turns out that we're having a girl!
Unfortunately, I feel a bit underwhelmed at this. I was starting to warm to the idea of having a boy, and even preferred the names we had picked out for a boy than the names we had for a girl.
So to my question;
do you think this would be normal for a hormonal 34 week pregnant woman?
Should I talk to my partner about it?
How can I feel more attached/bonded to my baby? (I had trouble bonding so far as it's been a difficult pregnancy with a few miscarriage-type scares.)
4 Replies
Just forget gender, think about the baby. Sit quietly and imagine having your new baby, holding her, when she wraps her finger around yours. You'll adore her regardless of gender and name and clothes and all that. I waited to find out because once youre holding your baby you wouldn't change one single thing about them.
With everything baby, give it time. Feelings and attitudes take time.
I swore my middle was a girl, had the scan, was a boy. I had issues with it for a while, until I sat down and thought about how my 2 boys would bond so well, all the boy things they would do, how much love I would have from both of them. Once you start thinking about your baby as a baby and not a sex, it's amazing how quickly your bond forms.
I didn't find out the sex while I was pregnant but with my third I was really liking the idea of another girl. I had the perfect names picked out, I would look at all the pretty dresses and just loved the idea of another little girl. I sat there one day and thought about how it would be if I had another boy, that scared me and I was a little sad but then I remembered that no matter what this little person, this little heart beat inside of me would be perfection in my eyes, they would be amazing from top to bottom. I stopped worry about gender and started worrying about the amazing life that was about to enter this world. When I heard boy I looked at him all over and knew then it didnt matter at that moment if I didn't have his perfect name already, it didnt matter that I couldn't use any pretty dresses, all that mattered was I finally got to see the person who was a part of me for 9 months.
Firstly congratulations on another little princess, how wonderful. Once you are holding your little daughter in your arms, i promise all those feeling will fade.
I never found out the gender with my 3 children. With my 3rd pregnancy after having 2 boys i was secretly hoping for a little girl. At a scan at 30wks, i swore i saw a ball bag, my heart dropped. Once i got into my car i broke down. It wasn't that i was upset i thought i was having another son, i was grieving at the thought of never having a daughter. I was a bit sad for maybe 2 days but then decided to look at all the positives and got myself all excited at the prospect of being a mumma to 3 boys. I went and done a big 'blue' shop and settled on a name hubby and i both loved. At 34wks i went into labour and to our surprise we welcomed a teeny tiny princess into the world. My heart could have exploded. She was nameless for a while though.
It's ok to feel dissapointed but i promise the feeling won't last. Grieve, feel upset then pick yourself up and look st the positives of having another daughter. Your other daughter will have a best friend for life. How beautiful will that be. Best of luck mumma xx