I have a friend who is a single mum, let me start off by saying single mums are amazing and yes I have been one before (my eldest is from a previous relationship). My issue lies with a friend of mine who is a single mum, she doesn't seem to understand that us partnered mums do things for our kids as well. She is always going on about hot nice it must be for us to always have someone to help us (which I don't as my partner works 60 + hours a week so I do everything myself anyway) and she'll complain about how she has to do things like make her daughters lunch on her own, shower her on her own etc and us partnered mums don't have to do those things because apparently we have someone there to do it for us...now when I was a single mum I honestly didn't do much more than I do now. Either way I still did most stuff on my own for my children. I've told her this but she is still convinced us partnered mums have it so easy. Anyone got any ideas for what to tell her so she'll stop acting like I don't do anything for my kids and only single mums have it hard? She's an awesome friend, but her attitude gets me down.
5 Replies
Tell her everybody's different. Remind her you've done both. Remind her it's harder if your partners an ass than it is being single. You don't know what goes on its not nice to judge and assume.
I had a friend who was constantly advocating breastfeeding and also carried on like bottle fed babies didn't need a mum at all and those mums lives were so easy.
It's judgmental crap.
She also made out I didn't do anything because of my child's age (3!!) and because my child was so good (that took work!!)
Some people are just struggling and they become resentful and not very nice.
you could tell her it's really not that easy for you but offer that you'll still find time to help her out if she needs it.
Read this to her, but remember she is clouded by jealousy and loneliness, so it might not sink in.
Maybe you can remind her that a partner really is just an extra child at times and change the subject.
An extra person to cook for, clean up after, take care of when they're sick, run around after, kick off the xbox/wifi, say no to in the supermarket... Not me, mine is well trained but from what I've surmised it represents a fair number of spouses lol.
There are times when I'm so glad I'm a single mum, there are no compromises and I don't have to consider anyone else's schedule, personality and quirks etc. then there are some days I just want someone else to make a decision!