Hi IM's, Im 26 and have cancer but having chemo and my outlook is good so far. But what im
Finding is my husband and I dont get invited out to bbqs with friends anymore but hear they have had them and left us out. Also friends dont seem to invite me for catch ups etc anymore but are still going out and organising things but its like everyone thinks we cant still live fairly normally anymore. Ive never felt so alone and I need my friends more then ever really. I have tried to organise catch ups and they do call in and visit but are too busy etc. im missing hens nights etc because im so tired and everything is a huge effort for me but thats different to a bbq at home. Just a vent really because theres not much I can do but feel like their treating me very cold rather then the opposite. Thanks for listening.
Lost my spark and friends from cancer.
Lost my spark and friends from cancer.
Posted in:
Self Care
3 Replies
Show them how you want to be treated, invite them for a bbq to your house. oftem these things are because people don't know how to behave, and are frightened of doing or saying the wrong thing, so they avoid the person who is sick. Show them.
Sometimes it's a fear or doing or saying the wrong thing, sometimes it's the irrationality of not being able to cope with the in-your-face reminder of their own mortality and sometimes it's thinking you need your space/rest/family time right now. These are your friends, you can talk to them about this. Invite them over, let them see how you're doing and tell them you'd love to start catching up more again. Maybe add that sometimes you feel a bit unwell or tired and may not make every BBQ or outing but that you'd love the invitation because the times you could make it will far outweigh the times you can't. Another option if none of this works is to make a bigger circle of friends from support groups, people who are facing the same reaction from their own friends etc. I'm glad to hear your outlook is good and hope your treatment is successful.
How awful for you. It's at times like this that you need your friends around you. In their defence though, they may be leaving you out as they know your immune system is compromised while you're having treatment. Have a BBQ at your house and invite them all over. Make it clear that even though you say no more often than not that it's still nice to be asked since its not like you simply can't be bothered.
Good luck with your treatment xx