I am trying to teach my daughter to be more confident and make positive choices..
Miss 10 is a kind & gentle, but insecure girl..
Her brother Mr 12 has autism, adhd, & Anxiety and I am worried we have NOT given her the time & support she has needed..
She started puberty quite early and is well developed physically but socially she struggles..
She has had the same 5 friends since Kindergarten but now her and another girl are being bullied by the other 3 in the group...
Miss 10 doesn't immediately realise they are being mean, but when she does her heart breaks. (She comes home crying 2 or 3 times a week..)
We have tried talking to the school ( who had noticed the bullying too) and have had many meetings over this BUT here's the dilemma-She is very loyal and when we talk to her she says things like "they weren't being mean, they were just having a bad day or they're my friends, they didn't mean it" etc.. She is also very forgiving-too forgiving..
She is scared that she will be alone and have no friends at all.. And to a 10 year old girl that is frightening...
I am trying to teach her to make her own choices, but after another incident today I have had enough..
How do I teach her to be confident, to respect herself and not be taken advantage of..
To see her own self worth??
I thought we were doing that but I can see now we haven't done enough...
Insecure Miss 10
Insecure Miss 10
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Parenthood Guilt, Behaviour, Kids
5 Replies
these can also be signs of inattentive type ADHD, it is more prevalent in girls and far harder to pick up. trying to teach her may not actually be enough. although adhd more often delays development.
it may be worth investigating at the very least. you basically just described my 14 yo
It was suggested she had high functioning autism but the paediatrician said it was probably just copy cat from Mr 12 so we never pursued it...
It was at a time when he was being particularly difficult and most of our focus was on him.. NO EXCUSE..
I am so scared that if I cant address it now by the time she is a teenager it wont be just friends taking advantage of her..
I know what you mean, my biggest relief is that still she has 0 interest in boys. she recognises in herself that she is not prepared for the complexities of such a relationship. she has told all those (and there are many) who ask her out that she wont be dating until after university. have it checked now. they suspected high functioning autism for my 14yo but assessments came back as Borderline Autism, they are absolutely certain now that its inattentive ADHD.
Child and adolescent mental health service I have found are the best for tracking this stuff down, because they do actually track this stuff down and provide the children with ongoing CBT and other therapies between assessments because regardless of assessment results such skills help.
Hey I have HFA, diagnosed as an adult. It is definitely worth exploring if it is autism/adhd or a combo. Even if its not you might find some of the materials available on the minds and hearts website applicable. They specialise in aspergers syndrome and are a leading authority on women and girls on the spectrum.
http://www.mindsandhearts.net/index.php/resources/downloads/girls-and-wo...
Oh my goodness, I wish I could introduce her to my 10 year old daughter, they sound identical! Honestly this post gave me goosebumps as I'm going through all the same stuff and I don't know how to help her either. She is the SWEETEST, most positive beautiful girl but struggles socially because she will not stand up for herself, she's a people pleaser, too loyal, always trying to keep the peace. Two of her friends this week have been botching about her because she is apparently "too nice". She won't say anything even the slightest bit assertive as she thinks it's "mean". I'm also terrified people will take advantage of her.