My partner and I have been together almost three years, have a one year old son and are currently rocky at best (but working on our issues). His work means he is gone for all lengths of time at short notice and we have moved for it two times in the last two years. As a result I am a sahm. I love my son but I get no break from parenthood like my partner does. I have just found out I am four weeks pregnant and I'm so sad. I suffered from pnd and had a traumatic recovery from the birth of my son plus terroble self eateem from weight gain which I have only lost half.
I want to be excited but I'm just so scared it will be like last time except this time I'll be alone with two kids not one while my partner is away. I know a baby is a blessing but I'm so scared and nervous. They are so close in age. Plus we still baby our one year old (cuddle to sleep etc). How do I get out of those habits before I get too big to do so?
How do I get excited and cope with having two children
How do I get excited and cope with having two children
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Pregnancy
3 Replies
Maybe move back to family and friends for the 6 months of the birth and recovery just to make sure you are supported. He can always come and join you when it is time.
Could someone come and stay with you for awhile. I found daycare one day a week help my son and I to find some autonomy. They could get him to do things I couldn't so that gave me the confidence to expect more from my son. His confidence soared in that time.
Hi there, your story sounds a lot like mine. The timing of my second child was unplanned and I had my children 17 months apart. I was so scared and cried a lot during the night. I suffered PND with my first, and again with my second. Your son is one now, but by the time bub comes, he will be closer to 2 and at this stage of their lives, 9 months is a huge developmental gap. For me, whilst timing was unplanned, I saw it as a sign that this was the way I will probably have another child because making a conscience decision to have a 2nd baby probably would never of happened as I was just too scared.
When bub comes, take each day separately and don't get ahead of yourself. Don't over commit to anything outside your place until you are ready. Just be patient. It will be hard, and then harder, but the dark days will disappear, and you will love your new baby just as much as your first. For me, things got easy once my 2nd child naps were more predictable so I could plan activities and outings around him.
Are you able to contact your local community centre and see if you could find out the details of some mums who had their babies around the same time your son was born? If you find a connection there, they may be able to help out when your 2nd bub comes along?
Good luck and stay strong!