How did you know you were ready for a child? I'm 30 and married but not sure I can handle a kids at this point? I suffer depression and it seems too hard!
How did you know you were ready for a child? I'm 30 and married but not sure I can handle a kids at this point? I suffer depression and it seems too hard!
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3 Replies
I think it is ok to admit you aren't ready. Personally I have my one child and I know mentally I am in no state to add another at this time.
I think you can work towards getting yourself ready though. Making sure you are proactive with your depression, eg taking the correct medication, going to psychologist appointments, getting some exercise and eating healthy can make a huge difference, but not everyone with depression can do all that depending on where they are at with there illness. I think it also depends on how much support you have. Will hubby and your family step up if you are having a bad time of it?
If you have a psychologist or counsellor why don't you have a chat with them about your thoughts. They know you best and where about you are at so are probably better placed to guide you.
I didn't get a choice, in wether I was ready or not and just had to get ready, but my depression was not that bad at the time so made it easier, but I do have to be super proactive and not put off speaking to my doctor if I need the support of meds and need to see my psychologist for a top up. I've learnt that delaying help just makes things worse.
Speaking as a mum of one in the throes of yet another depressive episode - if you don't feel ready, definitely don't do it. Ensure your mental health is stable and that you have the support of others before you fall pregnant.
I love my daughter with everything I have but it is so freakin' hard at the moment because I wish I could just run away and be alone. I have to keep going because no one else is here if I fall apart (I'm married but hubby's job means him being gone 12-15 hours a day). I'm mentally exhausted and often wish I had been able to sort my own head out prior to falling pregnant (it was an unexpectedly quick conception).
Couldnt ageee more. I unexpectedly feel pregnant and its the biggest adjustment ive ever made. I still struggle every day. This in turn causes guilt that im not the best mum i could be for my child.
To the op. I feel i dealt better with my depession before a baby because i was able to escape and be alone when i needed. I also had work to keep me busy when i needed to just not think. i think if you are aware of what might happen and how your life will change then you can notice when you arent coping and seek help sooner.