Hi all, just wanted to asked a topic that can be a bit touchy to some. I'm pregnant (11w) and I have to see my midwife next week all good and well however I have to bring up that I plan on bottle feeding I have nothing against women who Brest feed good on them, I however don't want to my mum didn't breast feed me some people in my family had issues others didn't. I'm just really concerned I'm going to be judged by other mums and especially my midwife and doctors makes me so worried, I am normally quite confident but this is really getting to me! Please no negative comments :(
10 Replies
You make your choice. Stand by it and don't be bullied. You're planning to feed your child Breaat or bottle doesn't matter (I breast fed and had to use formula at times too).
If the nurse gets cranky either politely move to the next question/part of the appointment, respond with your choice or leave.
She will probably be fine.
wait and see how you go,
one thing you learn being a mum is all those good intentions and plans don't amount to much. you deal with what presents as it presents and you go with what works.
wait to see what your baby brings. because really it largely depends on bubs. there are pro's and con's to both and you wont know which make a difference to bubs and which don't until they arrive.
oh and the other thing you learn.....what other people think really doesn't matter.
Make your choice, stand by it. Yes they will probably try and tell you why they think you should breast feed. They aren't judging they are just trying to explain the risks and benefits. The truth of the matter if it's not something you'd think you'd be comfortable with or enjoy then baby won't get enjoyment out if it.
Something to think about though. Would you be open to bubs having some colostrum (that's what comes out before your milk 'comes in'). It's apparently rely hugely beneficial to baby. Totally up to you of course. It's your body so up to you what happens to it.
Congratulation on bub! Is this your first?
Good on you for knowing what you want. Just be firm that you are doing this and they will respect it.
If you come across as confident they will respect that.
I think it's ridiculous there's even a prejudice but do understand there is.
I mix fed both my kids from birth and copped a lot off the midwives, I never let it bother me as I knew I was doing what's best for my situation.
The key is that if you are firm and completely comfortable with your decision there's nothing they can say to change that and you stand up for yourself and shut them down if they try.
I wasn't asked about feeding until the last appts though so they may not bring it up next week but if so just be strong on what you want
I wasn't asked until I popped the baby out!
Yep get strong. Tell them firmly, and tell them again if they start to go on.
You will get women who want to change your mind, want every body to breastfeed, want you to explain yourself and apparently think you need their approval that it's a valid reason, there's all sorts, as you will soon find out.
If you're sure, be strong and firm and give them nothing.
However! I kind of agree you may change your mind, want to try, it might end up way sifferebt to how you expect, and that's your choice too. So if baby pops out and you want to give it a shot, speak up then as well. A good midwife will help and support YOU in YOUR journey, whatever that is.
As long as you feed your baby it's no-one elses business how you choose to do so.
I chose to bottle feed my second daughter from day 1 after having a lot of trouble trying to breastfeed my first daughter. I was so exhausted and upset that I couldn't get her to latch so I decided my mental health had to come first. My advice is to stand by your decision. I had doctors and midwives act like I was feeding my baby poison by choosing to bottle feed but I stuck with it and now have a healthy 18 month old :)
I have to do this anonymously as i am a midwife and am suppose to advocate and push the breast feeding.I however believe that you should do whatever makes you feel happy. If you are not happy the baby is going to sense it and it will not be a very good experience. Some people take to it some people don't. I believe some people breastfeed while in hospital just to make the midwives happy then go home to the bottle. Do what you want to do. Stick to your guns and don't let anyone make you feel bad about the choices you make. It's you that needs to be happy not them!!
I found midwives will push and I mean shove the breast feeding thing onto you. It's your choice. Do what makes you comfortable.
I had no problems with my first but after that I just couldn't produce enough. I felt like a failure and my midwife treated me as one. Stand up for what you want.