I'm a pregnant mum of a toddler, I'm a wife, employee and university student with depression, anxiety and suspected autism. I have no family except two people on my husband's side, one is dealing with the death of her husband and the other has four kids, one with autism and two are beginning puberty so she has her hands full there. I have no friends because I manage to annoy people just by opening my mouth. My husband is trying to deal with his own stuff at the moment including depression and I just feel like I'm often about to explode with anger or tears. I feel my depression is playing up but I don't want to see the doctor because I don't want to be medicated while pregnant, I want to try and manage my mental state by myself. I feel as though every time I try and be optimistic and get things done something goes wrong. Today for example my son has done two wees and one poo in his jocks and nothing on the toilet despite the fact that he knows how to use a toilet. He won't listen, which I know is normal but I feel like he's not listening a lot more than he was say 2 months ago. I am so far behind with my university work that I don't know how I am going to meet my deadlines. I am so lonely and just want someone to talk to and do stuff with but as I said I manage to push everyone away because my brain can't seem to compute how to interact with people properly.
Like I said, it's not a question just reaching out and hopefully people will be nice in their responses.
3 Replies
I have autism (aspergers) please don't try and struggle through alone. Have you spoken to the health service at your uni, to see if you are entitled to counseling. It sounds like you really need someone to talk to. They also can give advice on your course load etc.
I know you don't want to take the medication BUT you need to be mentally strong when your baby arrives and the things that are most likely to get you there are a combination of medication and psychologist/counseling. It is a numbers game as I see it. You do everything that is going to increase your chances of success. Taking medication is not a failure. Doing what you have to to be mentally well and strong for your new baby is being successful.
Are you doing too much at once? There's a trend with mothers these days. You're a Mum, student, employee, wife. So much! Do you NEED to work? Do you NEED to study? Can anything be put off for a year or two while you slow down and recoup? Stress isn't succuss. Even though we've been programmed to believe it is. I was working, three kids - one at home, two at school. Hubby who works long hours so I was left doing all the house work and cooking and you know what I was unhappy. We had much more money. But my kids were getting yelled at more. Rushed around more. Life was hard. So I've stopped work and I'm staying home with my toddler for another year. We only just have enough to cover bills and food, but we don't care. Everyone is happier. Is this an option for you? It's the best thing I did.
Take something off your plate like defer uni until after baby. Your son is just reacting to you being pregnant and has had a little regression in his toilet training, bring back the system you used or offer a reward for dry days.
Get some outside help like counseling, get hubby someone to talk to also.
You just seem very overwhelming at the moment. Make a list of priorities and find a hobby you love like painting where there is not so much social pressure but you can make small talk if you want.