Separated families.

Anon Imperfect Mum

Separated families.

I keep reading about other im's in similar circumstances to myself and you know what.... The day I gave birth to my first child I thought it was simply the beginning of a whole new beautiful chapter (despite the father calling it quits prior) well holly hell was I wrong!!! The past 10 years has been bitter sweet, I never expected that the 18 years following that day would be like a prison sentence when it came to the father. I love my baby so very much that I would go through hell 10x over just to have him with me but seriously why should I? Yes I made a commitment to my child 'unconditionally' I have given up on so much just to have my baby with me. I was so naive that I never thought I would be forced to make a choice to keep my child or my rights to freedom or my rights to make a good life for my family and I, to make the choice to move my family to a place where we had the opportunity to be able to afford to give them a really good life. My family have struggled over the past 10 years, I have received very little support from my ex in relation to our child, but he will not let me move and he chooses not to contribute in so many ways. We are slowly drowning while they are sitting pretty with all the freebies they receive and no one gives a shit. I know what I have learnt and I know what I will be teaching my children. They say life is what you make it... Well that depends on who has control of the reigns!!!

Posted in:  Life Lessons

8 Replies

Anon Imperfect Mum

If you can show that the area isnt affordable and lay out plans to live where it is more affordable and the services you need are the court should let you go

Only twice in the last 15 years have I seen a relocation refused.

1st was because the father was actively suicidal and had been for quite some time. They decided if she moved with the 5 kids he would only become more determined.

Wasn't a good enough reason in my book but he was my uncle.
There were other screw ups in the hearing on her part such as trying to get him slapped with my mother's 5 inch psych file. Bad news for the mother is the magistrate hearing the case was the same magistrate who sat at every single one of my mother's section hearings...he knew who the file actually belonged to.

Lack of honesty I think is what actually didn't get her very far.

The 2nd was a case of parental abduction she ran of with the kid to cairns the federal police were literally on the way to get them she defied the court to such an extent...

Due to the parental abduction it would be a cold day in hell any court would grant her a relocation.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

We were in and out of court for years due to my ex! My child was 3 and the court ruled we couldn't move due to age and the effect it would have in the relationship with the father. We cannot afford to go back and even to self represent would incur costs that we just can't afford to pay.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Damn. Youngest was 18mths and they still let me go.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

I'm located in nsw! What state are you in? Wish i lived there, I'm guessing qld! The judge was clear in our case if the father didn't pull his head in that he would reconsider his decision... Shame he didn't consider the cost involved in getting back in front of him!

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Case was heard in NT now in Vic but family law is federal

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Its worth the cost if it means you can get out to a more affordable region. Short term pinch for less long term stress.....im all for the hard yards to rest later....my last hard yards were 8 years ago...now we are at it again....first case took better part of a year actually it was heading towards 2 years, I'm expecting this one to take 2-3 years. Be nice if we capped it at 12 months but I won't hold my breathe for it. I prefer pleasant surprises than disappointment

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Anon Imperfect Mum

I feel your pain, although I have no particular reason to want to move, I never imagined my child growing up on my home town nor did I imagine that I would stay in the same town my entire life. I always thought that I would move away. Well safe to say I dare say the father of my child would put up a fight. But that's not my only issue, my partner also has a child to a previous relationship that we have shared care of so he doesn't want to move away from his child. Life has funny ways of changing from what we expected.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

I feel your pain not in regards to moving but a simple request is all they need to keep control over you.
And even with a proven narcissistic asshole who admits to police its not about the child its about control the courts still give them the control they thrive on

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