hi Im's, im at very difficult place right now, so please be gentle. I feel like im drowning. i feel like a failure. I have 3 beautiful boys and a loving husband. but i really feel like im struggling to get through every day. we are currently planning a move abroad. frankly, i dont feel like i deserve my kids at all. i get so stressed out when they fight which is constant lately,that i yell then my husband gets upset cause i have woken him up and hes on nights, ive tried taking them out but i cant do that everyday.my husband is wonderful but cant seem to see that im struggling. even when i tell him, he thinks im just being emotional and that its not that hard because im a stay at home mum and i should be able to handle it, after all, i get to stay with kids all day. its my job. i feel i should be able to handle this. im their mother. then why am i failing so much. they deserve so much more than what im giving them. and so does my husband. i feel constantly tired even after a full nights sleep. how can i get through this. i love them so much but feel like i should just leave so they can find someone better. please help
4 Replies
Time to go to your GP, you sound like you have depression. Plus everyone needs a break from there job, it is definitely necessary to have time apart from the kids.
You are a good Mum. Go to your GP and get some help. It is hard to have normal active children and to keep them quite while your partner sleeps. Also moving O/s is in the back of your mind. Think of that as a great adventure. Look after yourself and everything else will be easier.
Ohhhh, I know this feeling, everyone goes through it! And I only have one child and a shift working husband, and a big business to look after! People will very quickly label it depression but in all honesty - drowning sorrows won't fix it - I've been there, done that! Don't rely on a pill to fix it. Seriously, write it all down on a big piece of paper, or find that 'inspiration' book, i have one, every time its ruined I get a new one, its your life planning book, your tantrum book, all of the above. Take yourself to birds eye perspective and work out a plan. There is no 'answer' to fix it all, i struggle with one, and we have a lot of money - trust me, money doesn't fix anything! Get some 'friends' or vent buddies, i usually keep to myself as i don't like having to rely upon people, but those independent's definitely help in a situation like this! :)
One of the first exercises my counsellor did with me was to ask me to list all the things I thought a good parent did. Then she got me to list all the things I do as a parent. She wrote it all up on the whiteboard and I had a visual representation that hey, I was actually doing everything I should. Maybe time to go speak to your GP and get some counselling. And remember, it may take some time before you find someone you click with but it is worth the effort. And remember, your family will never find anyone who loves them more than you!