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This is really hard to ask. I have concerns that my 5yo & 6yo boys might be getting abused by their father. There have been a couple of incidences where at home they have displayed behaviors that I don't believe to be age appropriate. I have carefully questioned them and they don't tell me anything, just that they thought of that themselves. For example trying to put each other's willies in the others mouth in the bath, tickling each other's private parts and tickling themselves down there and then showing it off. I know that at this age they do "explore". As someone that has been through sexual abuse as a teenager (different scenario) I am very sensitive when it comes to these things. I have a gut feeling but that could be caused by my own paranoia, fears and sensitivity. He doesn't try and see them more often then 1 day a week and when cares for them is actually quite lazy around them and doesn't do much with them so he doesn't really fit the profile of someone who may be doing this. I have an appointment booked with a psychologist next week but in the meantime I'm really struggling with this. I'm looking for advice / stories of people who have been through this. Please I'm really looking for feedback as it's causing me a lot of stress. I sincerely hope it's nothing.
Possible sexual abuse?
Possible sexual abuse?
Posted in:
Mental Health, Behaviour, Kids
4 Replies
Boys! It sounds like boys! They are so gross. I remember my male neighbours sniffing each other's butts!
Your ex would not be disinterested in the children if he was a pedophile. He would be working out ways to spend more time with them and be the cool parent.
I think it's time to teach them about personal/private etc
Sounds like normal little boy behaviour to me. Boys are gross little things at that age! I have 3, and a little girl.
Its really hard to know which is and isn't and sometimes neglect can be due to them knowing they are a risk to their children so try not to involve themselves. You are doing the right thing pursuing the psychologist ask specifically about teaching protective behaviours and what you can do to strengthen your boys against abuse.
If risk of being dobbed in is high most offenders will seek out another target. Not preferable but it means your boys are safe. We hope he didn't get further than grooming with my girls. But chances are we will never know. My eldest doesnt remember huge chunks of her childhood the psychological abuse was extreme at times but mostly over the phone. It was his step daughter who ended up becoming his target.
His girlfriend called me afterward demanding to know how long I had known....
Truth is I didn't. ....I just knew something was wrong and tried to get us as far away as possible. I wasn't going to wait around to find out.
Hi given your circumstances anyway. Have your kids every spoken to a child therapist or counsellour!?
My son has been caught a few times playing his dad playstations games or on youtube and has reenacted the moves. If I find him on this game I am sure to turn it off and same with youtube only supervised now. But I know what you mean. Boys do gross things and I am also worried because my partner abuses me in every way aswell.
I just make sure my kids no they can trust me and can have the option to speak privately to a professional who knows how to talk to a child and work out things more so than I can as my normal really isn't great for me to be judging.
Goodluck and I no the fears you have. They are valid maybe try and suggest to your psychologist you would like to oragnise someone for your kids to see.x