Since October 2013 a mere 3 months after the wedding we have been trying to get him through the doors of Relationships Australa.
We faced down panick attacks left right and center meltdowns and belligerence...
Today 2 years later this was finally acheived *breaks into dance*
It has been the same counsellor assigned throughout so while he never made it...she knew what was happening...a number of first contact attempts by phone, and everything fall through...
She did compliment me today....she said,"you know how it works and how to get things done. I can see that you know it's not worth constantly pushing and sometimes you just have to step back wait and try again... and again... and again. But in these last two years I have no idea how you have functioned with EVERYTHING happening when we have him sorted you need to tell me how so I can teach the others."
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Is this your husband?
Separated but yes.
He has had a string of small and major break downs over the last couple of years... health, mental health and history of abuse imploding physically and mentally....it all kind of reached a head.
He spent about a year Hm bit more of it ping ponging around the state....but always landing back home...we both own the house... even with being separated when in vic I'm still his carer... while he was in the city I had to send around the ambulance a few times....hypertension stroke and reactive hypoglycemia are issues....but its taken 2 years for all that to be diagnosed as the health system to start with assumed it was just anxiety and bipolar and there is no supported accomodation available...
The biggest challenge and why we need relationships australia is nothing can be discussed with him....without him running, having a meltdown, or completely imploding.....started a little over 2 years ago not long after the wedding when he stopped his psych meds simple its not....due to health issues and complications with the meds and everything its actually quite a complex thing.....goal is to basically teach him how to communicate again.
It could've been dealt with alot sooner and easier if back then I could just focus on getting him through the system properly....but they were determined to just not deal with it labelling him noncompliant due to the meds and ignoring the medical reasons he couldn't take them...
He was like a hot potato neither psych or medical wanted to catch him his case is one for the too hard basket...
Well actually psych were more like it's not safe for us to keep him on the psych ward he is in hypertensive crisis he could have a stroke on us any second! We arent equipped to deal with this....so rather than transferring him to a medical ward they kept calling me to come and pick him up (as if in some alternate dimension I am somehow better equipped than them to deal with a Stroke)
But I was busy dealing with an ex going to prison and the fall out of that on the kids....so too a large extent it was easier to just let him run away out of their intake area and call the Ambo's to him as necessary. Now iv got the kids on track Its time to sort him out.
Good luck! It sounds like you definately have you're hands full but I really hope you can find a solution and get back the man you married :-)
We will get there. I'm not expecting a quick fix. He is a victim of child sexual assault...recovery will take as long as it takes....
He loves me and my kids, even if intimacy of any type does scare the living shit out of him at the moment, I love him and the kids love him too....
Things are settling down again....so we start the next step and the next and so on and it will happen...
The day you can look up and know that it has happened while you were watching steps is a good day