I feel like such a bitch...
It's school holidays here and naturally my daughter is at home with me as are the neighbours 4 kids, one of which is the same age as my daughter. The two girls really like each other and want to play. Here's my problem, if I allow the girl next door to come over she is forced by her parents to bring her 3 younger brothers with her (aged 7, 5 and 2) and then all of a sudden I'm looking after 5 children. They are lovely kids who are well mannered but my house ends up totally trashed and when I ask them to clean up they don't. They help themselves to the fridge and pantry. Now the daughter is very responsible and cleans up her mess and is genuinely a lovely child but the boys are unruly and they generally aren't interested in playing with my daughter anyways. Yesterday I said that only the daughter could come because the last time the boys did they trashed my house every toy was thrown everywhere and they helped themselves to a whole packet of biscuits which they then crushed into the carpet and they took the toys I'd just bought for my daughter and step kids to ply with over the holidays and Tyres the frisbee on the neighbours roof, popped a ball and used all the bubble wands. This happened in the space of 20 minutes while i was outside watering the garden.. so I now say only the daughter. The boys constantly knock on the door and ask of they can play too and I feel so bad turning them down but I can't look after them all.
On top of this my daughter isn't allowed to visit their house (she's never been allowed to). Their mother won't let the kids have visitors which I find incredibly unfair considering she's happy to dump her 4 kids on me. She wouldn't even let my daughter go to the girls birthday party, she wasn't allowed.
Am I being horrible? My partner says I should let them all come because they are just kids and want to play but I don't want my house trashed and all my food being eaten. What do you think?
8 Replies
I think you are doing the right thing. You aren't a free babysitting service and whilst the boys are kids and it's not their fault and it's completely natural to feel bad to say no when they knock on the door but to me it is the epitome of poor parenting and rudeness to send kids across to neighbours houses to ask if they can play. It should be pre-planned between parents and at the very least reciprocated. Stay strong and set your boundaries.
Not at all! It goes both ways.
I had similar with a Neighbour and their 3 kids. One was best mates with my child and other two tagged along.
I was fine with it until the 2 yr old being toilet trained did a massive poo on my brand new week old carpet and I sent older child back to tell mum/ dad and mum sent back a nappy and wipes. WTF?
After that I said no more, my child can play with friend but siblings only if mum / dad here too.
My child went next door occasionally but only for a few minutes then they'd all be back knocking on my door to come in and play.
It's not fair to expect you to have them all especially if they won't have yours and don't invite to party's etc.
Sounds like you're being used honey and good on you for standing up for yourself
I've just been in.this situation and.it's in incredibly hard to be friends when.the other parents are deadbeats. I had to.stop.it, it was taking the piss out of me and.I didn't need it and it's been.great since. The girl still tries to play but still even after so long if I say yes it's only a matter or minutes until it's all back how it was and it's just not something you should have to deal with.
Nope you are not being a bitch. You are being totalky fair. The parents sound like shit heads who just want free babysitting!!
No you aren't horrible. I would be exactly the same. Very rude of your neighbour to expect you to look after all 4 of her kids.
Boys are from a whole other planet aren't they lol!!! I agree with you :)
Um no you are not being mean. Your not a baby sitter!
I think your being fair. When my parents have the grandaughters over there are alot of kids from the street who want to come and play, only the girls are allowed. My neighbor has 2 girls (5 & 2) who always come over to play with my daughter (3) which i dont mind and a couple of weeks ago the boy who is older (8) just walked straight into my house without even asking and started playing in my daughters bedroom. I was shocked and felt like it would be rude to send him home but i really wanted to. My husband told me not to stress. Then he done it again the next week. Just walked straight in and started looking around my lounge room. He then started jumping on the trampoline and pulled all the netting down from the sides so i sent him home and said thanks for ruining my daughters trampoline. He hasnt been back. Next time he walks in ill be sending him straight home