My rant

Sitting here thinking about why my marriage went down the tube? There were a few reasons, cheating, abuse of me and kids, not caring, the cheating may not have been in the form of going and having sex it was perving at other women, flirting with them and fb messages and sms and dating sites, I will never know to this day if anything ever happened. The abuse was mentally, sexually and physical to me, what ever went on was my fault, and wanting to go anywhere on my own well yeah if I did when I got home the emotional stuff happened. The kids, he would ignore them and then poke them with fingers and what ever and he was just nasty at times, the kids became scared of him. I would do everything from the bills to maintaining the home, and cars, did it all, the only time that he would do anything was when a mate of his was over or my dad, then he took charge. When I became sick it was still the same. Yes he went to work that is great and he thought that was all he had to do. Yep we talked about helping out and what not and nothing changed. We were together for 10 years in total and married for 3. I had the belief that he would change, that things would change, but sadly no. When I first met him I thought he was the love of my life, was blinded by love that I did not see all the tell tale signs, why did I not leave earlier well I was lead to believe that I could not survive with out him, and thinking that things will get better just got to hang in there. Broken promises yet again. I did not marry to get divorced and yet here I am. Nearly 2 years on and I have survived not being with him and my kids are happy, yes it has been a hard slog but I did it, I have offered to go to counselling with him but no, don't hear from him that much as he wont pick up the phone,
I did not get my fairytale ending like so many others out there, I am alive and that's what counts.
It takes 2 to make a marriage work and when that does not happen things fall apart, with dv it can change the person must want to change, I have seen it happen, if you are in a dv relationship married or not, then please consider your life and ur families, this goes both ways not just women but men to, if you are the abuser and know you don't want to keep the cycle going I ask you please to seek help, if the first person you see is not right then keep searching, dv is not just the physical side there is emotional, mentally and sexually,