Struggling emotionally

Hi fellow imperfect mums. I am really struggling at the moment. Over the last 10 years I have been through a lot I had my bowel perforated during a routine procedure which left me with a colostomy for a year. The colostomy has now been reversed, but I continue to struggle with complications . I have had 3 hernia repairs at the multiple wound infections, and chronic pain possibly due to adhesions. I have always coped really well, now and married and have 3 beautiful kids. This year everything has gone wrong I have had gall stones which required a emergency surgery, another hernia repair which re herniated within a few weeks, meningitis and recently I started getting server pain which they are saying it is peptic ulcer disease. I have not been well enough to work since March. Last weekend I was admitted to hospital, and a dr basically told me that the pain is not as bad as I am making out. My husband told me one of my brothers can't believe that so much can go wrong with one person and I am making it all up. Now I can't stop thinking about it and am crying every second I am left alone. I feel like a burden to my husband as he has to take time of work with the kids all the time. I miss working, I struggle at home with the kids, in pain and now feel like a failure. I thankfully have a great gp, but now I am scared, I am to scared to tell anyone what I am going through . As I feel I am started to get judged, or not believed. Some nights I lie in bed in pain cause I don't want to take pain killers, worried if I have to keep taking them someone else will think I am making it. I am even trying to hide it from my husband. I guess what I am asking how to I get though this. I am really worried about what ppl think of me. I have some great friends who are supportive, but I am worried if Keep talking to them they might eventually get sick of my life as well. I am embarrassed to even talk to my gp. Any advice would be appreciated . Thanks