Hey. So I ended it with my fiance after being together for over 8 years and having 2 kids because I finally had the courage to do it. That happened in July 2013, I then started seeing someone, a 'fun time friend' so to speak in late september 2013.....the magic pill didn't work and I'm now 18 weeks pregnant.
I only found out that I was pregnant at 13weeks, I told the father and we both agree just because we are having a baby doesn't mean we have to be together. So we are still friends with benefits and he is helping me out as much as possible. My kids have met him and know he's my friend but don't know about the pregnancy yet. They are 3 & 6.
I need to tell my ex, their father before I tell them so he doesn't hear it from them.
So the big question is.....how do I tell him?
I'm worried he will try and get more custody of our kids or quit his job so he doesn't have to pay child support to get back at me.
I was planning on waiting til after the 19 week scan just to make sure everything is ok. Really nervous about telling him and then telling my children is my next biggest challenge. Plus I'm dealing with the fact this baby has a higher risk of downs syndrome.
Thanks in advance.
How to tell ex that you split with 7 months ago that you're 3 months pregnant with someone elses baby?
How to tell ex that you split with 7 months ago that you're 3 months pregnant with someone elses baby?
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Relationships & Marriage
4 Replies
Unfortunately there is no easy way. Obviously you don want repercussions but you can't control how he copes with the news. You are no longer in a relationship, you haven't cheated and you sound like you know what you want in regards to the baby's dad.
Perhaps take a close mutual friend with you, tell him at your place or a cafe, not his place. The kids may just be excited about the prospect of a new baby, they don't understand all the extra things going on. Also, just because you are at higher risk doesn't mean your child will
Have issues. Breathe, it will work out, but first you've gotta face sole things head on. You can do it.
Really it's none of his business. I would be telling the kids before anyone.....
I would be telling the kids 1st as well & then tell him after, & just say it, if your worried try to have a friend with you for moral support but your kids are more important than him so I'd definitely be telling them 1st. Good luck
I think you need to take a deep breath, put all the "what if"'s aside to deal with at the time if they come up and just tell him.
I'm not a parent but I actually think you should tell him first, but when he doesn't have access to tell the kids before you do. My reasoning is just that his reaction may impact what you tell/how you tell the kids and he may even want to be there with them while you tell the kids just in case they have any awkward questions or are confused about how the new baby will impact their family as they know it. Obviously if he handles it badly I wouldn't suggest he is there for the conversation!