Two and a half years ago we moved our family of four across the country for work. Hubby works away 4 days of the week (often enjoying interstate trips, conferences, hotels and nice meals), leaving me along with the two kids, when he returns I work fri, sat, sun, mon nights/mornings 10-4am. We have no friends or family, it's just us. I am constantly exhausted and sick of juggling everything with zero support. Hubby has no interest in returning to our home state even tho we own a home there and it would be a little more affordable. We initially moved because he "needed it" I wasn't thrilled about leaving in the first place however I did it because he needed it and who am I to simply so NO. I can no longer manage to raise a 4&6 year old practically alone, there is never any down time from the kids or any adult interaction. I honestly don't know where to turn, do I move home alone?! Or stay and suck it up?
Relocating family and having zero support!
Relocating family and having zero support!
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression
2 Replies
Umm if he has such a great job, and you are home alone whilst he is away, and working when he is home, when is your weekend? When is your downtime? Do you need to work? or can you spend that time connecting with him and the kids together for 2 of the days, and give each other one 'day off' on the other two days.
Then you need to find a hobby with adult interaction to do on your 'day off'.
That's how i'd handle it personally, just think, if it's tough being a single mum when he's away all the time, if you move you will be a single mum 100% of the time and the kids will miss their dad. So I'd be trying to find ways to connect with your husband, think on the reasons you fell in love with him, think about all his positives, and cut all negatives out of your head as soon as they creep in. Reach out to him physically when he is home (even though at first you won't want to, and it will be an effort, after a while you actually start to feel the love and attraction again and do it because you WANT to.)
Good Luck!
I was in a similar situation with 3 kids all close in age. I used daycare 1 day a week. Looking back I should have done it 2-3 days a week. If they are in school, use the after school care. Push aside the mummy guilt and do whats best for you. A reseted parent is a better parent. It does get easier as they get older.