I'm curious to know how the single mothers out there find a balance?!
I've separated from my husband and am currently living with our children at my parents house and I'm terrified that when I move out on my own I won't be able to find a balance with my three kids. My youngest one (18 months old) is five years younger then my middle one and I'm always finding that I'm needing to feed, bath and put the youngest one to bed at different times to my two elder ones. For example, I find myself bathing my toddler while the other two are having their dinner and I feel as if I'm missing out and almost neglectful of the oldest two. Dinner time has always been the time of day to sit down all together and chat. I've tried feeding them all at the same time but if I feed the eldest ones too early they get hungry again before bed and if I keep my littlest one up she gets too over tired to eat. I feel so guilty that I can't figure it out!! Any suggestions or tips?
How do you find a balance between kids?!
How do you find a balance between kids?!
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt
3 Replies
Seriously, I'm going to say this, and I mean it with kindness. Get over it! Yes it is a balance and you will spend quality time with your other kids at a different time. Plus as your youngest ages they will be able to stay up a bit later and things will get easier. So it isn't for ever. Your kids will not end up in therapy because mummy couldn't eat dinner with them for 12 months.
But really you are doing great. You really are, in the scheme of things your kids are not being damaged by this, in fact it's a great activity they can do unsupervised.
Haha thank you but I'm not worried about them ending up in therapy or anything its more that when they are unsupervised they play up a fair bit on me, food fights, running around, etc so I feel like I'm constantly yelling out from the bathroom and then I start feeling guilty for yelling at them (we left a verbally abusive home as well so that kind of plays in to it) I probably could have worded it better or used a better example! You are right though, maybe I just need to look in to the long term and remind myself it won't be forever :)
If there is no rush to move out, I would stay where you are. Lean on your parent's support if you can, and use the money and time you save from having their help to heal and spread yourself around between your kids. Practically speaking, you could feed the youngest, get her in to bed and then have your own dinner with the 2 eldest and spend some time with just them, talking etc.