Ex being jerk
Is it normal for an ex husband to behave like this?
A bit of background. I left him just before Christmas 2011, after years of having been yelled and screamed at, called a c..., useless, piece of shit, gutter trash, spat on, poked in the head and chest with a finger, grabbed in a bear hug til I could barely breathe (nothing that caused marks, of course, only that which bruised the spirit.
Since then, he's usually been okay, but has outbursts of carrying on stupid about stuff, out of the blue. I have the children, and he has them for part of the holidays. I did ask if he wants them more often, such as every send weekend and half the holidays but he says as a farmer, he's too busy.
He is with a woman who was adoptive mother, along with her former husband, to two children. The children have been removed from the care of my ex and his partner and given to the ex husband, as my husband punched the boy in the head, and he told his headmaster. Our older son was also living with them, as he wanted to live with his dad and I let him. He has since come home to me, over a year ago, as my ex wasn't allowed to have kids in his custody.
As I said, usually ok.
A few weeks ago he called me whilst we were out for tea, about a matter relating to joint property. I spoke to him about it, and when I got home, I found there were heaps of messages on my landline message bank about me never letting him talk to the kids on the phone. He'd spoken to the, the previous day! Later that night I got several text messages from his lady threatening to call the police on us if we didn't answer the phone, and how it is "weird" that both mobile and home phone go to message bank and come up as private number, that he'll tell the cops and report it and they will call Telstra and tell them my fiancé, who is a Telstra linesman, is mucking with the lines and get him fired.
Just had a call from him that left Mr. 9 in tears, about him fighting with another boy. Too bad he only got half the story. The little lad saw it was his dad on the phone and rushed to answer it, and got yelled at.
Then he says "other mothers" have seen my boys outside on the weekend in their school uniforms. So? Occasionally they've slept in their clothes on a Friday night and not changed. Ooohhh baaaad mother.
He says the "other mothers" said he should call DHS on me. Well, go right ahead! All they'll find is happy, healthy kids who do their reading everynight, have tea at 6 and who are in bed safe and warm by 8. Kids with a loving home, a pantry, fridge and icebox full of food and a home that is clean.
He's been ringing and texting all today threatening me with DHS and all this junk.
No doubt, next time he calls it will be as though nothing has happened.
Do exes normally act like this, or is he mental??
2 Replies
He is abusive, and this is perfectly normal behaviour for an abusive ex to behave like this. You don't have to put up with it though!
Get advice from a domestic violence service and the police. Also get yourself some private legal advice.
As above. He's abusive. He'll be all over the place, confusing you, exhausting you, keeping you right there, on your toes, anxious.
Also sounds like he's spinning stories to the new one and that's why his behavior doesn't make sense to you - it's a show for her. Personally I'd cut all contact as much as you can. He punched a boy, has kids removed from his care, abuses the kids over the phone, I wouldn't trust his behaviour Id be seeking help to have any contact between him and the kids cut or at very least monitored.