i don't know how to deal with my spend thift husband he makes me so fustrated
1) he buys junk and cars
2) he never consults me
3) we don't have the money so I can only consider he builds debt to buy whatever he wants
4) he is financially irresponsible and I'm sick of acting like his mother being the bad guy it causes me anxiety and a lot of frustration
5) I have spoken to him he says he's free to do as he wants and its irrespective of the financial situation
I don't know what to do I feel at my limits and is it just me or is this immaturity
I don't know what to do I feel at my limits and is it just me or is this immaturity
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Relationships & Marriage, Money
3 Replies
I would be at limits too. I dumped a boyfriend for this sort of stuff. We were trying to move in together and he just couldn't get it together at all because he just wanted to buy loads of cars and junk all the time. He doesn't care, doesn't want to change, and doesn't treat you as a partner, time to move on.
My partner was similar to this when we first got together. I was still working when we moved in together so it wasn't a big problem, until I quit my job to start a family together. After a couple of weeks of struggling I decided something had to change.! So we got a joint account and I worked out all of our bills that needed to be paid (a weekly contribution is better than a lump sum at the end). He now puts a fair chunk of his pay into this account to which I pay rent, electricity, Internet and food from. He has a weekly allowance as do I. You could try to do something similar and show him where the money is going. Your scenario sounds quite similar to a friend of mine. They ended up going bankrupt which meant no credit cards or loans for 7yrs, eventually his spending drove them to seperation (he still hasn't learnt his lesson). Try to sit him down and get him to realise how his over endulgent spending is driving a wedge between you two. Good luck with everything. :)
Take away his access to money you don't want him spending. Give him a card and an account he can access and move all other money to accounts he can't access. If he wants to act like an irresponsible child treat him like one.
I've just done this recently and until he can control his spending it will stay like that. When in a few weeks he can see all the money i have managed to save i think he will be impressed.