Hey Ladies,
I have just been offered an amazing job working away in a remote part of Australia. My problem is now my husband is angery about it because its so far away from our friends and family and he dosnt want to be stuck in the middle of no where being a babysitter because I will need to be focused on my job. Before i applied I spoke with him and he was happy now I have it he's not. He admitted to me that he didnt think I would get it. My new bosses will be trying to get him work out there as well as suitable accommodation for our family but it may take a few months due to the peak season finishing and I will do FIFO.
I also have 2 step children that we see every fortnight and over school holidays. Other then the step kids, we have nothing here job wise. In my field full time work is hard to come by, we seriously have $10 to our name. We are just covering rent, thats all. My husband has no drive or ambition and is a crap provider for us all.
I really want to go and do this, the opportunity to advance my career is endless. Im even willing to do it alone if needed but im scared. Can any of you IM's offer me advice?
3 Replies
Ok.firstly, it's not that mean to say he didn't think you'd get it, I think it's more of a 'why argue about something that's not real yet' so maybe take a step back and now that it's real restart planning with your husband. Maybe you need to let him feel he has.some.choice in the matter. You also breeze over the two step kids. I'm sure that's also not a minor detail to him. Maybe he will never leave and living remote isnt for him. Better to know that now and decide if that's your life ambitions then it's best to go your own way. But approaching him with anger that he's already agreed so now he should do this won't get you anywhere. Living in rural Australia is not a small thing, it's like another planet and not everybody enjoys culture changes. You'll be working a rewarding career he'll be at home with kids in a remote probably stinking hot tiny community.
I can see you're excited and there's a lot of pros because it's what you want, just trying to remind you there's another side too, so it's good to be open to his, it can.only help you both reach a.compromise if there is one. Good luck & congratulations!
I've done the regional, country town thing and it was not great. It really was life threateningly not great when something medically went wrong. I'm afraid I'm with your husband on this one. You couldn't pay me enough to move out there.
I know I'm being the "Devil's Advocate" but Would a man ask this question? No, he would say he's providing for his family and his wife and children would follow and support him supporting them... in 90% of cases... If you are the provider and he is the caregiver (to his children by the way) there is nothing wrong with that. However, having lived remote and done FIFO it is a challenge and takes GOOD communication and team work to be successful. The money is not everything. Open the door to discuss the opportunity with no 'but you said' - just from scratch - make a list of pros and cons and work out the best combination for your family. There are lots of combinations of 'work-life' that provide balance too. Congratulations and good luck :)