I'm nearly 6 months pregnant with my second and have gained a healthy, yet to some, minimal amount of weight. I still work out 5-6 days a week and I'm so sick of hearing 'you're going to have a small baby' followed by wide eyed shock or 'where are you hiding it?!' 'Maybe you should eat more' 'why do you still go to the gym? Stay home and be lazy'. Frankly, I think that telling someone that because they haven't gained as much weight as the person making the comment (one woman gained 26kg during pregnancy) or are simply ignorant in claiming my child will be smaller than normal because I haven't gained loads of weight thus far is quite appalling to say the least. For my BMI and the doctors estimates I should only be gaining around 12Kgs. I'm healthy and my baby is measuring perfectly and kicking my insides around as we speak. On the other end, people who know me well say 'you're so huge now!' And then start comparing me to what I looked like previously (athletic, flat stomach etc) and make assumptions like ' I bet you're going to go back to the gym as soon as you can' 'must be so annoying not having your abs anymore and watching them disappear' F-Sake, I can't win! No, I won't be back at the gym, no I don't care about my abs no longer being there and no I won't have a small baby!! Why can't people mind their own damn business!!?? I really don't like confrontation and when I politely tell someone how their comment is incorrect they have the nerve to say my reaction must be "hormones"... I guess I don't have a question but I just don't have any pregnant friends or mother friends in general to have a whine too! My best mate is fantastic but I hate complaining her ear off so much. I swear I cop someone's opinion every day!
10 Replies
i am 30 weeks and although i was a larger person to start with (size 20 to 22 depending on clothing cut) i have lost 8 kilos and gone down to a 16-18.(i have actually lost 20 kilo in a year since returning to work because it is hard work and a lot of walking... 10-16 km in 4 hours) i cant stomach coke and have had flus and asthma throughout so unable to stomach dairy which means no chocolate. my baby is on the 87th percentile (bloody huuuuge for it's gestational age) and measures ahead. with my first i weighed 5 kilos less at 9 months then i did pre pregnancy and he weighed 7 pound 11... (3.525 kilo) and was 52cm long. some people just take better care of themselves/ carry differently and dont have the complications like fluid retention etc.note : i shouldnt say better care, because sometimes its not in your control the weight you gain, however some ladies use pregnancy as an excuse to pig out. like kim kardashian or kate hudson (who gained mass amounts of weight during pregnancy). You are doing perfectly mumma and i am jealous because your body will bounce back extremely well after birth and maintaining exercise actually makes your labour faster and easier.!
Thanks for your reply :) I had terrible pre-eclampsia with my first child and was so swollen and bloated not to mention the high blood pressure so took it easy in my third trimester. I gained so much water weight I felt like a beached whale. There is no signs of it yet which is fantastic! I just wish people would mind their own businesses, I would never make comments about other people in general let alone while pregnant, I guess some people don't know boundaries
I am going on maternity leave this week.... people just assumed i was fat and are genuinely shocked when i tell them i am almost 7 months. As long as you are happy and baby is healthy who cares if you chose to stay active or whether you become a beached whale for 9 months. Its also none of their business if you go c section or natural or have drugs during labour. Or if you breastfeed or bottlefeed or cosleep or cry it out. As long as you are happy and the baby is healthy to hell with bitchy opinions!
Really feel for you. I'm 23 weeks with number 2, still exercising etc but no one can tell I'm pregnant yet. I'm an average size 10-12 and have gained 4kg and now only fit my size 12 clothes. Everything is fine with baby.
If your athletic now and still exercising your gonna bounce back so quick. Just don't listen to people, most people are jealous.
There is nothing wrong with having a smaller belly, when people comment on mine I cop what's wrong with you, what's wrong th the baby, are you eating blah blah blah it goes on, I simply state that I eat and eat and eat some more but instead of cramming snacks down my throat I eat fruit, nuts a cup of soup a sandwich etc. I also tell them I would rather have a small healthy baby than a torn up split needing stitches vag from a big baby.
People are simply jealous. I was hated during my first pregnancy because I didn't show, didn't get stretch marks and walked out of the hospital looking like I hadn't had a baby, it's gonna be the same this time because obviously "I'm doing something wrong"
You are doing everything that is right for YOU AND BABY during this pregnancy, it's is no one else's business how much weight you gain, or how big your belly is or if u eat, exercise etc, it's YOUR body and YOUR pregnancy. Not theirs.
I think it's great that you have a friend you can complain to tho, that's what friends are for :-)
You have to remember that now your having a baby everything you do is wrong, someone will always do it better. That's how society thinks. Mums will compare, mums will bitch and many things you do will be "wrong" to everyone else.....at the end of the day, put the opinions behind you and move forward with your head up, because the next 18 years of your life you are going to be judged for your parenting.
I only put on 4 kgs my whole pregnancy... Good on you for just doing what you normally do. I hate to see people judged - it's just rudeness. Especially where pregnancy is involved! Seriously, EVERY pregnancy is as different as the child itself. I would be firm but not rude. Id say something like "I won't be discussing my weight because it makes me feel uncomfortable. I keep fit and the baby is growing fine so it's not a concern I have. Good luck it is frustrating!
I can't help myself - I'm going to chime in here with my opinion as a midwife. I just wish there were more women like you who a) were healthy and active before their pregnancy and b) continued being active through their pregnancy. I wish more women ate appropriately, for themselves as much as for their babies, and didn't see their pregnancy as a great excuse to over-indulge and watch movies or sit on Facebook for hours and hours. I totally get the tiredness, the cravings, the nausea and vomiting. I'm so sorry that you have to cop flack for being healthy. And the sad truth is that as soon as you conceive, you are suddenly subjected to a huge amount of judgement from other women, which seemingly continues for the rest of your days as a parent. I don't get it. But then again, I've just passed judgment on the multitude of morbidly obese women I care for day in, day out. I treat all my women with respect and kindness, compassion and understanding (even when I really don't understand at all). But I sincerely wish there were more women like you xo
Size 8 before kids size 12 after .. I get ahh when are you due after iv had baby ahh you cant win ????
I will be honest.
Be thankful that you are pregnant and having a healthy baby. To many people can't fall pregnant, have still births or have babies (yes babies) with childhood cancer.
First world issues!!!!
Still going to the gym while being pregnant is FANTASTIC! Yes most of us gain 40kg because we are feeling sorry for ourselves and using the pregnancy as an excuse to be fat and lazy and stay at home all day doing nothing (well that was me anyway). Does not mean you have to! And it takes soo long to get your body back into shape after bub is born if you do this! If I ever have another bub Im going to continue going to the gym every day and stay fit and healthy like you are. And its so much healthier for and bub aswel! Anyone who is giving you smart ass comments are jealous, trust me I was one of them! Good luck and congratulations, haters gonna hate :-)
At 3 mths pregnant with my first I looked 6 mths preg. He was a huge baby (4.5 kg).
People are going to give you their opinion whether you want it or not, just learn to go with the flow and ignore the 'advice'... but not mine hahah lol