Hi sisters, just a quick one... what is the etiquette with sick kids? I always thought that to be curtious you would let people know if your child is sick and then they can decide if they want to catch up. I just assumed if you were attending a social event / family event that if your kids were sick you just don't go.. because there's no reason to share your bugs. Long story short my mother in law and sister in law dont see a problem with the other two grandkids (siblings) passing on there bugs to my toddler (the youngest grandchild). Recently on multiple occasions we have attended the mother and father in laws and the other two kids have had a virus with high temps that have lasted a week each and they have not bothered to tell me and I find it ao frustrating. We also had a family gathering over the weekend and I knew the kids were still sick so I messaged ahead to find out with the sister in law would be attending... her response was yes even though one of the kids is really sick at the moment. I then replied that I wont be attending because I didnt want to expose my child to the bugs. Her response was ok no worries see you soon. All in all I'm frustrated and we've missed out on an event because she has chosen to take her unwell children. What is everyone elses opinion??
6 Replies
I find it infuriating too. You did the right thing keeping your kid home though. Unfortunately we can't control other people's behaviour.
Personally I'd find that situation with the high temps lasting a week annoying. For a common mild cold/cough/runny nose it wouldn't bother me in the slightest but for more serious illness yes. But even if my child has a mild cold with no fever I still advise the parents or if in doubt check with the doctor if it's anything more serious.
That you don't take your freakin' germ-infested kids out on public! A mild cold is one thing - most kids get these all winter (and I'd still run it by whoever I was catching up with, or the daycare) but temps, diarrhea and vomiting is another. Not only is it incredibly disrespectful of the children who should be kept home and allowed to rest and recuperate but it's disrespectful of the people you're exposing. A number of consequences can arise:
1. Your kids take longer to recover because they can't rest;
2. You make other kids or adults unwell. That's just shitty in and of itself;
3. Those people take time out of school/work to recover - personally I have about a day's worth of sick leave available to me at any one time so if I have to take the whole week off I'm out by a few hundred dollars and I still have to pay for daycare when my child doesn't go;
4. The people you pass it on to then pass it on to others - maybe a kid with an immuno-compromised sibling or a grandparent undergoing chemo or radiation, a parent with MS (serious illnesses can trigger relapse) or a young baby who doesn't have the immune system to fight off a serious illness.
I'm sorry, I seem a little alarmist but I'm sick to death of people running their sick kids around when it's clear that a) they're sick and should be home resting and b) they're contagious.
That's for public or school or visiting a friends, but this mum is going to her mums house, right? I feel that's a different situation. I would take.mine and my nephews have never avoided me because they're sick as far as I remember. We're not a big bunch though, sometimes they even stay at grandma's when they're sick. If I want to keep my.kids away I can. If the child really bad they'll be in bed anyway. Maybe they also see it as a.different situation, having someone implying that you shouldn't bring your kids to your mums house. Just another point of view to consider.
In saying that I agree, don't bring them to my house and please let me know before I come to yours. I just find at grandma's place is a different scenario.
Honestly I think kids are going to catch bugs everywhere and wouldnt bother missing out on an event based on your child MIGHT get sick.
We catch up with friends frequently that have snotty kids, there is ALWAYS a message before warning and checking if we mind. There is a huge difference between snot and fever though, that is just rude. Even if it is just at a family home, she could at least give you the heads up so you can decide.