I currently have a 4 month old and I want to get pregnant with another soon. I've always wanted to have my children close in age. But everyone I've spoken to saids I shouldn't because I wouldn't be able to handle it physically and mentally. I feel like my body has bounced back but now with everyone saying don't do it my worry is that perhaps it jeopardises bubs health in some way. To anyone that has kids with a close age gap are they healthy? Have you coped? I need to know are they right or not?
6 Replies
I would suggest going to see your gp to discuss with them. I think health organisations recommend a two year age gap but in saying that if you are keen on a small age gap then why should anybody else stop you?! Your gp might want to check your hormone levels as well as iron and that sort of thing. If that's all fine then I don't see why not? I know people with 13 month age gaps and they all do fine, I'm sure it's hard but they seem to like it. Good luck!
Talk to your GP but I also think you may be missing knowledge on how difficult it is to have kids do close in age. Even if your first baby is easy now, they don't stay that way (very rarely). You will be heavily pregnant getting up to a baby who is getting heavier and harder to pick up. You will need to rest while pregnant and 1 year olds don't allow you to do that. Night feeds etc. even if number 1 child is 2 when the baby is born it's highly probable you will be getting up in the night to two babies. They very rarely sync. Plus while you are trying to feed the second baby, baby number 1 will be moving around and getting in to everything and will probably still need a lot of time and energy. So personally unless it was a total woops there is no way I'd do it deliberately.
Before my daughter was twelve months old I felt like I could easily handle two, but as she approached 18 months I was glad it was just her. They get heavy, need lots of carrying, run off, argue... There's a period between 1 and 2 when they are loads of work.
People cope differently and no one can tell you how you'll deal with it. All our children are close in age (16 months between 1 and 2 and 2 years between 2 and 3).
Physically, I haven't fared very well. Second pregnancy I was diagnosed with SPD at about 5 months and this time it flared up at around 10 weeks. I've since been told this is likely because I didn't allow my body enough time to heal and strengthen after my first child. It does seriously affect my day to day living as I struggle to pick up my children, struggle walking long distances, even getting up from bed is painful.
In saying that, I don't think I'd change the age gaps. The bond my first two have are amazing and I can't wait to see them bond with our third. It does mean however it's quite unlikely we'll have any more children because I'm not sure I'd be able to handle it physically.
Emotionally it is tough, absolutely. But you get through and if at any point you're struggling you can talk to your GP, just as you would at any other time.
Weigh up the pros and cons for your own family and situation, ask yourself if you think you're healthy and well enough to go again so soon and if you think you are, go for it!
Everyone is different, between no1&2 there is 14months and then 18months between 2&3,4 ( no 3 turned out to be twins). I loved the closeness of them and still do. They are now 21,20 and 18 and they are the best of friends. It was hard work when they were younger but the good far outweighed the bad. Between 4 & 5 I had a 3 year gap and that was and still is the hardest gap for me. The other 4 were all at the same stage of their life and the youngest was always that bit too young or too small. You have to do what is right for you and your family.
My son was 7 months old when we found out we were expecting my daughter. It was scary and at times it's hard, but I don't think it's hard because of how close they are, it's more because I now have 3 kids I think. I don't think you should let other people change your mind. My kids are now 4.5, 2 and 9 months old.. The bond I see between my younger two already is amazing! I can't wait to watch how close they get as they grow.