Adult content warning ... So utterly lost ... I was diagnosed with hsv1 the cold sore virus which 80% of the population carry this virus but mine is not on my face. I'm a single mum have been for several years so I'm in a state of shock as I have no idea whom or when I guess anyone I've been with the virus. Never thought to ask did partners they get cold sores and some people never know. I have most likely gotten it from oral sex and I've only had a few partners one of which I was married to for 10 years. I've been told repeatedly my life's not over and I'll find love one day and so many other things like this strain as opposed to the hsv2 virus , reoccurs less often I may never have another etc and it's less likely passed on. I'm scared I'm scared for me I'm scared for my kids I'm scared of people knowing and judging me as dirty or slutty when it could be further from the truth as no one gets judged for the same virus when it's seen on someone's face ... It's been a rough few years and this is the icing on the cake I don't know how to come back from this and Drs don't care ... Your not dying here's drugs see you next time ... It's broken me.
So utterly lost ... Where do I go from here? Warning triggering content sorry
So utterly lost ... Where do I go from here? Warning triggering content sorry
Posted in:
Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Self Care, Health & Wellbeing
12 Replies
Time to get a mental health check. A lot of people have this and there is even a dating site especially for people who hsv. Anyone can catch HSV1 or 2, and it can lie dormant I your system for a very long time. You don't have to tell anyone you have it unless you are going to have sex with someone, so who will be judging? If it makes you feel any better a close relative who has herpes and is very upfront about it has had 6 serious relationships since her diagnosis.
What do you think is going to happen to your family? Maybe write down your actual fears and research the answers to each question so you are coming from a position of knowledge rather than fear and anxiety.
Oh sweet heart I am so sorry you are going through this! Please don't beat yourself up over this, in a way the doctors are right you're not dying and the medication is there to help you feel normal again. Don't let this define who you are because it's not the end of the world, you said it yourself 80% of the population has the viruse. I have no advise for you as I don't have this viruse but I know people that have it and they have never let it get in their way.. All my love to you.xx
Hi, I am a pharmacy assistant and I can 100% say we do not judge people who come in for medications for STIs. We dont think you are dirty or slutty or anything like that. You dont need to be ashamed. The only people who need to know are your partner, doctor and pharmacist. You dont need to tell anyone else. You sound like a beautiful person and you will get through this xx I agree with the previous poster, time to see the GP and ask for a mental health assesment and I think you are elegible for 10 free counselling sessions per year.
And if you feel like your GP is not listening or is not helpful then there is no harm in seeing a different GP until you find one that clicks. Xxx
I am in the same boat! No one knows unless you tell them so you can't be judged. I haven't had any issue with it for years. I didn't know what it was at first and thought the worst - I mean, who knew you could get something like that from oral sex?! I certainly didn't! I called it my "vagina flu". But as I said, have not had a reoccurrence for years! Chin up Mumma, these things happen, you're not alone xx
I have lived with this for many years, take the medication it works. Mine hasn't flared up for 4 years now. Even when it does it is usually because I am stressed and worn out. Your life will continue, it won't affect your children and nobody will know unless you tell them
You could be me. But I've had my diagnosis for a while now. Life does move forward. I am now happily married and this virus has NO impact on my life. I have a script for anti-virals should I have a flare up but haven't needed them in a long time. I went and spoke to someone when I found out I have it and they really helped me. Just remember approx 80% carry HSV1 and don't even know it, you're not alone. Please talk to someone, don't let this overwhelm you.
I'm the poster would you be willing to email me? Some of these posts have really helped x
I felt exactly the same way when I was diagnosed when I was around 20. I was ashamed, feeling guilty for having unprotected sex, feeling dirty and that I would never get married or have children and noone would ever love me.
My first initial outbreak was horrendous and painful and horrible. Cut to now 11 years later, I'm married and have recently given birth to my second child. Ive had maybe 3 more outbreaks in those years, two of them being when i was in first trimester of pregnancy. I took preventative medication in the last months of pregnancy to allow me to birth vaginally and my children were in no way affected.
My husbabd loves me for me. He also gets cold sores but of the face variety. I love him just the same.
Dont be ashamed. I think the stats are 1 in 8 people dont even know they have it! You could have got it years ago and only just now having an outbreak. Doesnt mean you have passed it onto others either.
These feelings will pass I promise. You are still you and you are gorgeous.
Big hugs xx
I unfortunately have the hsv2 and mine reoccurs ALOT ? I got mine from an asshole of an ex who had slept around on me!! You would be surprised how many guys over the years don't care that I have it. I get to know them first obviously which is great and then explain to them and also explain that I can't pass it on unless I have an outbreak or they just wear condoms. My fiance has never ever cared nore judged me, and I am pregnant with our second ? I opted for c sections so that I didn't run the risk of passing it on to my babies. I know it might seem the end of the world but it really isn't and sounds like you got the 'better' of the two. Keep your immune system up and try not to stress as this can cause outbreaks. Chin up hun xx
Do not stress about it. I got it at 19 when I broke up with an ex and he then forced himself on me with no protection. This all being after he had been to Thailand and slept with 2 random girls. It was awful I had to get tested for HIV and everything. In saying all that I have not had it since and that was 9 years ago. I know how dirty and disgusting u feel but it's not the end of the world. I'm married with 2 kids my husband and myself where best friends at the time and he was the one who took me to emergency when i was in extrutiating pain. You will pass this stage and remember it's not your fault. And you are not dirty or disgusting in any way. Keep on keeping on and keep living! Xx
Sweetheart my heart goes out to you. I was 21 and in a loving relationship when this happened to me. That relationship lasted for a while and as far as I know he never contracted it and we're still friends. I didn't kiss anyone with a cold sore let alone let them go down there so it's a mystery to me how I got it! I've since been married and had 2 beautiful children(recently separated for different reasons). It wasn't easy telling him but I did it in the beginning and luckily he still loved me anyway. He didn't contract it either. I'm hoping the next time I find love it'll be ok, fingers crossed! I wish you all the best honey and look after yourself. Xo