Hi everyone, I am writing here to talk about my frustration and hoping some of you can shed some light for me.
Me and my husband have a 2 yr old and I am desperate for a second child but my husband says he isn't ready for another one yet. He says he would freak out if I was to get pregnant now. I've wanted another baby since our first was 1 and it's always the same answer 'I'm not ready yet'. I'm finding it really really hard not to resent him for denying me the choice to add to our family. I understand that I can't force him if he's not ready but it seems like I have made enough compromise and now it's his turn to compromise. I am so ready and it's starting to make me angry at him which isn't helping the situation at all. I don't know how to deal with this strong feeling of somethings missing. Has anyone else been in this situation before? Any advice is welcome. Thank you x
What to do?
What to do?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Pregnancy
4 Replies
You have to approach this from the point of view is that we don't always get what we want when we want it, that's the way the world works, and babies aren't any different. Sometimes we have to save, sometimes we have to wait until the other party is ready. Your little one is only 2 and gonna through such fascinating times and even if things are pretty good now, so many challenges ahead of you. Having a family isn't a race.
Has he said what age gap he would like?
Maybe hubby feels like that there is barely time for the both of you as a couple? Maybe he doesn't want two babies simultaneously?
He hasn't said what age gab but we have talked about waiting until our first is in school. It would be better to wait and I want to because it benifits us a lot more but I just can't shake this feeling of wanting another now and feeling angry about it. I don't know if I should go to counseling or something to talk it out or if there's anything else I can do to feel comfortable about waiting?
Keep reminding yourself of why, have you explored what it is about having another baby that appeals to you? Some people it's the attention from being pregnant, some people like to have someone dependent on them, some people it's a fear of what they will do in the meantime. That's by no mean all the reasons just some I've heard friends express.
Thank you for your advice, the reason is definitely to add to our family because I feel like there's something missing. I guess I'm just being impatient. At least he hasn't said a straight out no.