Please tell me there is a light at the end of the tunnel? I feel like I'm drowning and have absolutely no one to talk to I'm laying in bed crying I feel so alone. My partner has depression he was dianosed about 6 months ago, the emotional strain is just hitting me like a tonne of bricks don't get me wrong I know what ever I'm feeling he's feeling ten times fold I support him 110% I'm always there for him and I'm helping him the best I can through all his dark days and always making sure he's getting all the right professional help and meds. But I'm not coping I feel so broken sometimes he says such hurtful things and I wanna believe it's the depression talking but it honestly just tears me apart tonight I'm in front of him crying which I don't usually do cause I don't want him feeling any guilt but it just got to much for me anyways he said that nothing gives him life and that he doesn't know if I actually love him and a whole lot of other things and that just made me so upset because we have a 3 year old son and a pretty strong 6 long year relationship and I took it too heart and he just told me to shut up and stop crying and that's it's always about me I have bent over backwards and have done absolutely everything I can possible to be there for him especially the past 6 months. Just wondering if other IM's are out there are dealing it have dealt with the same situation how do you soldier on when everything around you is falling apart and good days are becoming so rare that I can't even remember the last time I genuinely smiled or felt happiness I know how to support my partner but I just don't know how to cope and support myself.
4 Replies
First of all, huge hugs to you. Being a partner to someone with depression is draining, and you are amazing to stick through it. Not everyone is strong enough to do that.
I'll make this short and to the point:
1. Get yourself some counselling too. Take care of you. If you have someone to help you work through this it will be easier. Take a break, do something for you. You can't help him if you're not in a good place.
2. Ensure that his depression doesn't become an excuse for emotional abuse. Depressed people can be extremely self-centred and manipulative, but so can narcissists and basic assholes. Protect yourself and call out bad behaviour. Just because he's hurting does not give him the right to treat you that way.
As a carer myself, you absolutely 100% need your own mental health care plan. You need someone to talk to. Just because he is depressed it doesn't mean you also can't be depressed. You have to save yourself, your son needs one functioning parent. As a sufferer if depression myself, that does not allow him to use you as his emotional punching bag! It's ok not to enable him, and call him out!
Hey hun. I could just imagine how hard this is for you. I am going through something very similar with my partner. As much as you love them, care for them, support them, it is still extremely tough. My suggestion would be to seek some councelling for yourself, to help you cope with all the stress. Just know, it is not you, you are not to blame for anything, you are not any of the names he calls you. Depression is an illness, he is not himself, you are doing an incredible job being there for him and supporting him. You will get through this, please get some councelling for yourself, I promise that things will improve dramatically. All the best lovely xxx
Hey hun. I could just imagine how hard this is for you. I am going through something very similar with my partner. As much as you love them, care for them, support them, it is still extremely tough. My suggestion would be to seek some councelling for yourself, to help you cope with all the stress. Just know, it is not you, you are not to blame for anything, you are not any of the names he calls you. Depression is an illness, he is not himself, you are doing an incredible job being there for him and supporting him. You will get through this, please get some councelling for yourself, I promise that things will improve dramatically. All the best lovely xxx