Hi IMs. I am 6 months pregnant and single. I have a restraining order out on my baby's dad for DV. I have been told by my lawyer not to put him on the birth certificate. He is emotionally abusive to his other child eg filming her crying when i left him telling her that I don't want to speak to her asking her if she understands that i am gone and yelling at her when she said no (she is 3) and sending it to me etc telling me its my fault that her heart is broken and im going to hell for it. He would yell at me and put me down in front of her. She would often see me crying and she would comment that dad was yelling at me and she was 'telling on him'. When he was being abusive towards me in public i would walk ahead and try not to make a scean and he would say to his child that i am walking away because i don't love her or him.
I am scard of him being alone with my baby for those reasions, being abusive to his next girlfriend in front of her and filming my child to get back at her. It kills me to think what else he would do to her. He has told me that i will know the feeling one day of never seeing my child again made threats of taking her away etc. My questions are if he is not listed as the father how does he put him slef on the birth certificat? which i dread.
If he wants to do a DNA test does he have to have my consent?
If he does get listed as the father will he get any time with a new born? I will be breastfeeding too.
Will he get over night stays?
What rights will he have?
DNA testing and Father's rights
DNA testing and Father's rights
Posted in:
Pregnancy
5 Replies
I think you should talk to your lawyer about these things. If you are not confident in what they say get a second opinion from another lawyer or call legal aid.
It sounds super scary and it's brilliant that you are being so diligent about protecting your baby but I think you need legal advice from a family law lawyer. Best of luck!
Keep all the treats and video evidence in case you need to make a case for supervised visits only. That is all proof that he is an abuser and not fit to be a parent. And as above, talk to your lawyer who can give you current advice. My understanding is that yes, he needs your consent unless he goes to court and the court orders a DNA test, then you have no choice. Do you think he would go to that effort? In any case, not putting him on the certificate will stall things up and will give you time to get your ducks in a row before he goes for parental rights... Good luck !
I answered these questions the other day. Speak to your lawyer again. He can sign a parental acknowledgement form if he believes the child is his. Or he can ask for DNA testing through the court or you can compel him to have a DNA test through the court. It's a pretty easy process and really you shouldn't be stressing about it.
It's highly unlikely he'd get overnight stays of a baby. In any event the process takes a long time so your baby will be a lot older before mediation and the court process even gets to that point. And he may not even bother trying to get any visitation with your child. It happens, my babies father was also abusive but by the time my son was 6 weeks old he'd decided it was all too hard and disappeared.
Yes he has a right to a paternity test, if you don't consent he can take it to court. Now here is the tricky bit, centrelink and child support, you have 2 options lie and potentially get caught out, this was the risk I personally was willing to take regardless of what may happen, or tell them the truth and then again another risk of having that admittance of having the child to him which can cause problems with custody, passports ect.
You need to go back to talk to your lawyer or find another and ask these questions. This was the legal advice is was given how ever it is a world of ifs, buts and maybes when it comes to this situation. Until the baby is born he has 0 rights. But you should see someone and let them know your situation because each one is different.
You need to get serious legal advice. He can take you to court to do dna and for visitation. Even if you are breastfeeding.
You also neex to find out the implications from centreljnk etc if he is not on the birth certificate.
If worse comes to worse and he gets visitation. You will/can have someone collect baby from you to take it to him and then bring baby back. or it will be supervised- you take baby somewhere and a court appointed person sits in the room while he and the baby visit. You need to prepare yourself that he will be able to see the baby.
My situation was very different but i would never have told him about the baby in the first place had i known he can apply anyyime to the courts fot visitation.