hi everyone
i am needing some advice and hopefully some peace of mind regarding my 8 year old DS
a bit of background we have 3 children and he is the oldest, he was 2 when i met my now husband and has not had anything to do with his father since he was 4.
he has since the beginning of the year not really wanting to be at home, before school he will ask where he can go after school, and as soon as he gets off the bus when i say hello to him he will just ask where he can go and then get all grumpy when i say home even if i explain that i want to spend time with him, and it doesnt matter where he wants to go as he will begin listing the names of all the houses he could go to for a play
he has not missed out and has a tv and playstation in his room and i just spent over $100 getting his ipod fixed after his brother accidentally broke it (tripped while holding it), we try and spend on on one time with him but the time is generally spent with his asking for us to buy him this and that and than getting sooky and cranky when we say no as it doesnt matter how much we get for him its just like its another thing and often he will still ask for heaps more whinging that he never gets anything.
i understand that kids reach a certain age and dont want to hang out with their parents but its gotten to the point that if he can he will be somewhere else and with other people rather than his family.
for example he had a sleepover lastnight and they asked if he can stay for another night which i accepted and he basically came in grabbed his stuff and couldnt leave fast enough, i had to call him back to give myself and his little brother (who was devastated he was leaving) a cuddle and even then it was a half effort thing.
does this sound familiar to anyone? is this normal? im starting to think we arent good enough for our own child and its breaking my heart
any help would be great thanks
5 Replies
personally I'd be asking my son BIG questions about why he is so unhappy at home. yeah kids love playdates etc but this sounds excessive to me. He might be frightened of hurting your feelings and not want to tell you why, so maybe a counselor or psychologist could help get to the bottom of it. Yes I would be deeply concerned. Have you tried asking him what he likes about the other places.
I'd be very concerned and would also be taking him to a counselor. At 8 this is really early to be trying to separate from you. That's normally teenage behavior.
I would book an appointment with a counsellor, go in by yourself and have a chat to them about how to introduce your son into the situation as it can be a very scary thing.
He might feel like he doesnt get enough love at home, Nothing against you or your partner at all but sometimes kids take things in ways we couldnt understand.
Good Luck mummy! x
just an update
picked up mast 8 from his friends house and he ran to me and couldnt wait to get home!
when i spoke to him about why he doesnt want to be home he just said that its because they have better games to play on their x-boxes ect
so apparently the only reason he has not wanted to be at home is because he has basically become infatuated with video games and other parents who allow them to play non stop the entire arvo
What about trying to encourage him to have his friends over at your place more after school or for sleep overs etc. They do really start to want to be with their friends a lot more at that age but definitely do ask him why he doesn't want to be at home.