How do you ask for help and actually have people listen to you?
I find it really hard to ask for help and support from other people, in the past when I've opened up to friends and told them I don't feel like I'm coping or I need a hand I feel like I get shut down. The topic of conversation is swiftly changed or a couple of times I've been told don't tell me you're not coping and then the other person reels off how much worse off they are.... I find it hard to ask for help or admit I need some help at the best of times but all my life this is the response I get. I'm usually strong and independent and I tend to bottle things up rather than get stuff off my chest. The last year or so my family has been going through a real rough patch so I've tried trying to share my feelings with close friends but I'm ignored. One friend works as a mental health professional so I sort of had a higher expectation from her that she might be able to offer some great advice or tips but she didn't get back to me. My husband is suffering from chronic depression and anxiety due to a PTSD type situation. He's not responding well to treatment and ECT therapy was recommended by one of the specialists he's seen. The bulk of everything that we used to share now falls on my shoulders and I've tried really hard to be strong and weather the storm but I feel like I'm almost at the end of my tether, like I'm suspended in mid air with one bit of rope attached to my foot holding me in place.
I'm going to see my GP to set up a mental health plan in the next week, we've talked about setting it up at my next appointment. I think I could benefit from some counselling sessions.
I just needed to get this off my chest. Is it me? I'm fairly private I don't think I go on and on about my problems to people but that's what I'm starting to think.
2 Replies
I think setting up a mental health care plan for you is a great idea. As a carer myself (my son has a very rare condition) most people just can't get what we go through. I'd also suggest finding a support group in Facebook for PTSD. There are probably some closed/private groups where you can express yourself, and to people who really get it. I found one relating to my sons condition and I actually found it made me feel less alone, more supported etc.
"Before you decide you're depressed, check that you are not just surrounded by a-holes."
I don't think the problem is you asking for help, I think it's that unfortunately you don't have supportive people in your life. Caring for someone with illness (mental or physical) can really take its toll on the carer and you have to ensure you're looking after you as well. Definitely go and get that mental health plan done and get some counselling.