Im getting married in a couple months and my father in law has just been given a terminal diagnosis. My first thought was to cancel the wedding (as I struggle with depression/anxiety and it all seems to hard) but now I think the family really needs a reason to celebrate, but what if he doesn't live that long? Right now we have only paid a small deposit but the full amount is due one month before the wedding. So confused.
Wedding planning with a parents terminal illness diagnosis?
Wedding planning with a parents terminal illness diagnosis?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression
6 Replies
You can't stop living because someone has a terminal diagnosis. During times like this people need time to celebrate as well as grieve. The two aren't mutually exclusive. Also a terminal diagnosis could mean 6 months or it could mean 4 years. How long would you delay your wedding 'just in case'. I think your father in law might feel terrible if you cancelled the wedding and is probably looking forward to the big day.
And if he doesn't last that long it will be sad but it shouldn't stop the wedding going forward. People incorporate family members who have passed in different ways so that they are still there. With either a photo, or a special reading at the ceremony, sewing something of his to the inside of your dress. Lots and lots of things.
But making the decision to continue or delay should be made in conjunction with your partner, and perhaps your partner could sensitively bring the topic up with his parents to see how they feel.
No don't cancel it! Who knows this may give him a reason to hold on a little while longer to see his son get married. It gives everyone a reason to celebrate and catch up with out having to worry about the morbid, so it will be a happier time for him over everyone just seeing him for goodbyes. Go ahead with it, give him a role to do a speech and it will keep his mind off what is happening to him, ask him for advice to about the wedding while not taking away his worries or concerns on his illness.
How does your fiancé feel about going ahead with the wedding? I'd say it's more up to him considering it's his dad whose dying.
My father inkaw was diagnosed with a terminal illness. He was given 6mths to live and uet he lasted 18mths a terminal diagnosis doesnt mean your going to die tomorrow.
I realise that, theyve said he will be lucky to live out the year.
Continue with the wedding. Dont rush it and don't cancel it. if he does pass you could light a candle at the reception saying this is for... who couldn't here. Im sure they will all need a celebration.