Hi Mums. I have a 3yo and a1yo. My husband and I moved (with our 2 kids) about 18 months ago. Since moving, I have struggled to make new 'mummy friends'. I have joined different mothers groups and things like that, but all the mums already seem to have their 'groups' sorted. I have met 1 mum who is so lovely, we got along straight away and our kids get along great. However, in the past year I have been to her house weekly, yet I can count on one hand the number of times she has been to my home. I kept ignoring this and kept going sound to her place. I feel like I'm the one doing all the driving around and making all the effort. This is now wearing thin with me, as I feel like I'm making all the effort. Now, this week my dd is turning 4 and I had arranged for a couple of friends, including her, to come over to our house for a little party. However, yesterday she somehow managed to take over my plans for my daughter's birthday, and we are now meeting at her house!! I am furious!! It's my daughter! It's my party!! And somehow it has ended up at her house, yet again! Am I right in feeling pissed off? Should I say something? My husband has said recently that she is just using me, and she's not a friend. At the time I just brushed it off, but now I'm thinking he is right. But using me for what? Why would she keep inviting me to her home if she's not ingested in being friends but just using me?
Aaarrrggghhh, this whole making new 'mummy friends' is like dating! Lol :-) Why is it so hard in a new town? I've never had this problem before, second guessed myself, and been so unsure of myself so much!
Thanks for listening and letting me get it all off my chest. xx
New 'Mummy friends'
New 'Mummy friends'
Posted in:
Self Care
4 Replies
She sounds like a control freak! Why did you let her change it to her house? I don't mind the regular catch ups being at a friends consistently, quite frankly I don't want to be in my house more than I have to be. The birthday thing is one step too far! Personally I'd change it back to my house, it's your daughters birthday. If that ends the friendship it ends the friendship!
I don't understand how you let the party be taken over.
Just a suggestion though is it possible she has anxiety? I am a very confident outgoing person normally however I do have bad anxiety when it comes to catch ups with my kids and prefer to be at my house for play dates as I get so stressed there going to get hurt or break something etc. totally irrational but I cant help it and have had to explain it to people so they don't feel like you and that I'm not making the effort to go to their houses
This is was my thought too: on the face of it it might seem like she is selfish or using you (and that might very well be the case) but it might also be that she suffers from some sort of anxiety, perhaps around driving or other things outside of the home?
I had a friend who always wanted me to go over her place. It was extremely frustrating and I was sick of being the only one who made the effort so I stopped going over there and we just drifted apart.