Hi IM's,
im a single parent with two great kids (15&9). I met a great man a while ago now who I believe has enriched our lives and allowed us to do things and see thing which we would never have had the opportunity to do prior. We don't live together and there is no plans for that to change in the short term.
Just the other day I discovered that he is a Cross Dresser. I am not repulsed by this as, let's face it, most of us have fetishes of some description. He has a lady who has assisted him in this and I at this stage have no intention of assisting him in this, and have told him this, I also am not ready to see him dressed as a lady, although I have seen a photo and nor do I want it brought into my home at this stage because of the children, but as we don't live together that is very unlikely. I have also asked that he discusses with me if he develops a need or interest to take it out to the public, he currently only does it privately..
I guess what I want to know is are there any other IM's who live with this, and did it change the relationship once it was discovered. I believe as a minimum our communication, which has always been very good will just become better. He is after all still the man that I met and still the man I adore, just with a known fetish.
My partner is a Xdresser
My partner is a Xdresser
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Men's Business, Relationships
1 Replies
Not sure if this helps, but may be similar, kinda, or maybe not.
I got together with my ex when I was 17 and he was 20. We weren't serious for the first few years as we were young. He had told me that he was molestered as a child so was a little twisted when it came to sexual fetishes. He liked lady boys. He had also experimented with another man but never had sex. I was ok with this.
A few years in I was on our computer and I had noticed he hadn't cleared the history and there was a lady boy porn site on there. I was curious, had a peek, but it didn't interest me at all, I was quite repulsed by it. I was never against him liking it, it was just a little off putting for me.
After that initial conversation we never discussed it again, I could look past it as he was wonderful and loved me, and it was only a little fettish for him. But then life got stressful for me, just with money and mortgages and committment we were together for 11 years total. It was a decade in and he didn't help around the house or cook and played Xbox 24/7 then would expect sex at 1am when he would finally come to bed. Needless to say I wasn't in the mood when I was fast asleep. So he started a daily (yes daily) routine of masturbating every night before coming to bed (I went to bed around 9, him at 1am) I knew what he was doing, but never spoke up. So when I would have a good day, and be in the mood, it stopped working for him. But he would still be able to masturbate.
After years of this, because I never spoke up and it was all locked away I started to resent him. He said he wasn't gay, and that he only wanted me, but his actions said otherwise to me. If he liked boys, I honestly wouldn't have cared as long as he showed me that he wanted me more, but he never did. I felt like I needed a penis for him to be attracted to me.
I know this is not your situation. But I just want to give you the advice to keep talking about it. Don't sweep it under the rug and assume that things won't change/progress, they might. Nothing against anyone feeling the way he does and enjoying what he does, you could even have fun with it. But things about sexuality need to be spoken about, otherwise he could want to explore it further and you could be left behind and start resenting that part of his life that you are not part of. I think your doing a great job so far being so accepting of him. Keep up the good work. I regret I wasn't able to be open with him about it.