I have 2 children, a daughter 5 1/2 and a son who will be 3 in 3 weeks. Progressively over the past 18mths my son's behaviour has gotten worse and worse. When he can't get his own way he screams (very loudly, ear piercingly so), if I still resist the screaming escalates, then we have the hitting, throwing things, kicking, scratching - all of this combined into 1 mighty tantrum. It's not so bad at home as I am able to either put him on the step or in his bedroom to cool off. My problem is when we are out. EVERYBODY stares, I don't know what to do. He can't be reasoned with at this point. Today it was because I wouldn't buy him a truck he wanted. But I figure I really have to stick to my guns and not give in just because I am feeling completely humiliated. ( I have never given in when he is doing this) I am feeling completely lost and like a failure, on the way home I had to pull over because I was crying so hard. I just feel so alone. I have remove artificial colours and preservatives from his diet and at first it made a huge difference but now we are back to square 1. If anyone has any constructive advice I would greatly appreciate it. Please keep nasty ones to yourself.
3 Replies
Chin up we have all been there. Just keep doing what your doing. But never give in. My son is 2 1/2 now and is getting better with shopping small steps and bugger everyone else
I think by what you've described there are 2 possibilities. The first would be that since this has been ongoing and escalating for 18 months there may be someone giving in to him therefore he has learned this is how he gets what he wants, or possibly it's for attention. When you're out (grocery shopping I assume, I wouldn't be taking him to any restaurants etc until it's settled) others be damned, let him have his meltdown - he'll learn, especially if it doesn't get him attention either. I am a massive fan of Jo the Supernanny, she wasn't around when my boy was little but I still learn some stuff from her that I can use. The other possibility is medical, as frightening as it is see your doctor about ages for testing and bear it in mind if it's not improving. It should certainly never be a first port of call for unruly kids but if nothing is working it needs to be ruled out.
The best advice i can give, is to keep at it. My son constantly tests the bounds of our rules, but when ever he steps outside those rules, he gets firmly put back on his proper track. Different kids, different punishment, the current one (the only one that seems to have any effect even after a first try lol) is to separate my son and my daughter, separate rooms, they hate it. As much as they fight and cause trouble for each other, they hate being apart more than not, (my sons tantrums and not listening is usually linked to his sister, slightly different situation but same basic principal) I try to take them outside to wear them out as much as possible, when they are tired they seem to be less inclined to actively cause trouble. Good Luck. (Sorry for my atrocious grammar, I am usually on my phone instead of my laptop, it makes it harder to watch what I type)