Hello beautiful Mummas,
I know this question comes up from time to time but I feel totally torn and I'm just interested to hear other peoples thoughts/experiences on a similar situation.
We already have two beautiful children, one girl, one boy. We are both torn as to whether we go for number three. I always saw us with three children. We have the 'discussion' regularly, like, daily! I know financially having a third will be a struggle for us and I do not want my two to go without for the sake of me just wanting another baby.
Am I just being selfish?
When we talk about not having another baby, I cant help but feel sad that I'll never EVER be pregnant again or have another little bubba to look after and just desperately want to be pregnant, NOW! Its all I think/dream about and if money was no object, this wouldnt even be up for discussion!
I just wondered how others found going from two to three, is it really financially that much of a struggle? We already have a big enough car to fit three in the back BUT we are renting and desperately want to buy our own home. My inlaws have generously offered to loan us some money when they sell their property in 2/3 years time so that will help us out massively and we can continue to save little bits everywhere we can but saving is hard, we cant save as fast or faster than the rate that house prices seem to be rising. Also daycare/kinder is expensive! My husband is very supportive and feels exactly the same as I do, so we're on the same page....which is something I guess?!
I have spoken to two different friends who have three, one regrets it and says that its too full on, too expensive etc and definately just be happy with two. She had two girls first. She also works part time. The other says its the best thing ever and wants a fourth! She is SAHM had Boy, Girl, Girl.
Is the decision purely financial or do you 'just make it work'.
I just dont know if we decide to not have another baby if I'll regret it for the rest of my life. Felling so lost/torn. I guess if we'd had two of the same gender this wouldnt be up for discussion either.
I wish I could just look into a crystal ball and PLEASE HELP :(
Please be brutally honest!!
2 Replies
I personally believe it's selfish to have more children than you can afford. Not trying to be mean it's just my point of view. My husband and I stopped at 2 because we knew it's all we could afford in the way we want to raise them and set them up for life. We want to give them everything not just materialistic but also attention/ quality time etc however if this helps, some of my mum friends have said going from 2-3 was easier than going from 1-2 :)
You don't say how old you are and how old your kids are? Personally if you aren't in your 30s I say what's the rush? Is it important to know the answer now?
Plus it's quite natural to morn that you won't have anymore. So would you feel any different if you had the third? Would you still me sad because it was your last?
I'd also ask how is my family coping now? Is it the best time fir baby number 3 or is this feeling more about a set number of children you imagined. Sometimes what we imagined isn't actually what's best or suitable for us.