Hi imperfect mums I don't really know if I'm looking for advice or what I just need to vent. I have 4 children under 6 and a husband who I love dearly but I just feel like I don't want to be here sometimes, sometimes I don't want to be a mother. I hate my life I hate myself. I feel like I can never relax I feel wound up all the time even when I'm by myself with no one around to bug me. I feel flat and angry. I'm sick of yelling at my kids I don't want to yell at them but it's like it's my first reaction and they pay no attention if I didn't. I'm stuck in the house all the time I have no friends I barely hear from my sisters anymore. I don't have motivation to do anything. I feel like I have too much stuff to do I'm sick of housework I'm sick of doing everything for everyone I'm sick of hearing whining and winghing all day and no one listening to me. I love my kids with all my heart and I couldn't imagine my life without them I would never want to just pack up and leave them. I just wish I could be happy and relax more and not be this monster I feel like I am I don't want to be like this
Feeling like I don't want to be here anymore
Feeling like I don't want to be here anymore
Posted in:
Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Self Care, Parenthood Guilt
5 Replies
Go speak to your GP ASAP. You need a mental health check. You probably need to speak to a psychologist too. Things can change and get better but you need to take that first step.
Wow! You've just explained how I feel to a tee! There's usually no chance I'd comment here without it being anonymously but I feel I need to reach out to you. Please pm me if you'd like, you sound like an awesome mum doing the best she can & I know exactly how you feel xxx
I believe all mums have days like this - I've started to feel this way sometimes too & I've got 3 children under 5. It's the monotony of it that kills us! I'm teaching myself to sew & in all honesty it's like therapy. I'm using my brain, I make useful things for my kids & gifts for others and it's a new challenge each day. Perhaps have a think about what you would like to do for you...
I am not a believer in medications to fix things but sometimes they can help to clear the air to give you the breathing space to work on what you need to. Taking antidepressants has changed my life. Changed my parenting and given me the ability to think clearly without the anxiety and feeling of being overwhelmed. Go see your gp and don't be scared to try medication. I was for a long time and i wish i had done it sooner.
I became this way recently. Every day was a struggle. Even friends were pulling me aside telling me to get help. I drank way too much, just to get through the day. I felt there was never a moment for me. Already having an addiction I wanted to avoid meds to help. Fortunately I was able to force the time (I hope you can too). Working 3 days a week I negotiated with my employer to be able to take an hour lunch break to go to a near by martial arts gym (eat lunch at my desk, make up hours in the evening). I never had any motivation to go to a normal gym or exercise class. It took huge guts to even go there but after my first day I cried with happiness. It gave me an outlet (to get out aggression!) and gave me focus and I look forward to it each day I go! Because it's not just exercise but learning a skill it's fun and gives you a new goal every day, trying to master a new move. Try and take that huge step and force the situation for you to have something for you again. I know there is no time and finances can be tight but the way I had to look at it was if I kept going down the track I was on I would lose everything and if my husband and family really understood where I was at they would happily pay anything to get me help so this was more than justified