I'm 33 weeks pregnant and my mother is expecting to be in the delivery room, how can I tell her I only want my husband in there, without upset her?
I'm 33 weeks pregnant and my mother is expecting to be in the delivery room, how can I tell her I only want my husband in there, without upset her?
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7 Replies
Just tell her straight out!
"Mum, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but i only want my husband in the delivery room with me"
Her feelings will probably be hurt no matter how you say it unfortunately,
I know the right advice is just to tell her, but. I also know how hard that actually is to do. I'm pretty sure my mum assumed she would be and I could never tell her no. I just never invited her and hoped she'd take the hint. When I went to the hospitaL she came up and called to come in and I told the midwife no and midwife handled it and she waited outside and never mentioned it.
i know ideally it would be easy to tell her but thats a awkward conversation to have and for someone who hates conflict i would be avoiding that for sure!! My sister kind of had the same issue with our mum. What happened in the end was that my sister went into labour, she didn't tell anyone and basically went to hospital with her husband, had the baby and then a few hours later when she was ready, she called and informed us of the birth and invited us to visit on the next day to give her some time to recover and time to bond with the baby. Would that be an option?
This makes me love my mum so very much more. She never assumes and waits to be invited.
You just have to be upfront and honest. Maybe casually mention something about the waiting room and that your hubby will come out periodically to give her updates about how it's going, it might give her the hint.
Also just wanted to add that I had my mum in with me aswel as hubby for all 3 of my kid births (due to have #4 soon) and she was such a blessing and extremely helpful. Labour can be long and boring so someone else to talk makes it go quicker. I think it's a beautiful thing for a grandparent be there for the birth of a grandchild. My MIL was also there for our first but sneaked out just before our daughter was born, which was great she did that but not necessary. Sadly she hasn't been to any other births as she has been looking after my other children.
Another option could be, just asking her for the labour part and say you would like the actual birth to be just you and hubby.
I second the don't tell anyone option! We had planned to that for our son... unfortunately, my husband was too excited abd told everyone! My family was not the problem, his on the other hand decided it'd be a great idea to show up to the hospital! I was so cranky.... here I am being prepped for an emergency C-Section and his dad, Nan, brother, sister in law and his dad's girlfriend are all standing there.... I was so pissed! !! Then after bubs was born, I was still in theatre and they had to take him up to the ward and they all wanted to see him etc- I hadn't even had the chance to touch him yet!!! And then on top of all that, the moment I got back up to the ward and the.midwife brought bubs in, they followed!!! So we had NO TIME with bub alone.... it really did ruin the entire experience for me :(
I was called selfish and inconsiderate when I decided I wanted only my husband in the room. Even though with my previous children I had allowed any of my family in to watch. I think if there's any a time when you need to do things how you want its when you give birth.