The women who use this site are real people, with real issues.
I am absolutely amazed at how, no matter what is asked, there are people who will take the opportunity to make a negative comment. I'm very interested to see what some people say about this post.
What brought me here? Sorry about the third person perspective. Perhaps it's my way of dealing with my past. It's like I was another person.
When I was 10 I was sexually abused by my step father. I told my mother. She left him.
She used to tell my sister and I that she didn't want to live anymore and she wanted to kill herself. My sister and I used to walk home from school and comment - I wonder if mum will be dead when we get home. Think about that for a minute. A ten year old whose mother wants to kill herself. The ten year old blames herself...
The mother reconciles with the abusing step father. Not just reconciles - moved interstate to be with him. Now think about that. The ten year old whose mother puts her own daughter back in harms way of an abuser. A mother who chooses a sexual abuser over her own daughter. She mustn't love her? Right? Away from all her friends and family. What can the ten year old do? If she makes a fuss, what does that achieve? They go back to how it was before? When the ten year old's mother wanted to kill herself?
The ten year old doesn't make a fuss. The step father never touches her again, however, does touch her sisters. One of them his biological daughter. When the ten year old is 15 he finally leaves for good! She hasn't seen him since.
The 15 year old. She's angry! She's hurt! She hates her mother.
When the 15 year old becomes an adult she gets pregnant and moves out of home. She LOVES being a mother. It makes her feel even more distant from her own mother though. They have a strained relationship.
That girl goes on to marry and have 4 more children (all the same father). She divorces 13 years later because her husband turns into a physically abusing drug addict who tries to kill her. In the meantime she's going to uni. She completes her double degree with class ii division honors. She gets a full time job straight up! Is the little girl about to get her happy ending?
It's never that simple.
She's now in a relationship with a wonderful man (been together almost 5 years) and they're about to move into a house they bought together.
Her kids are almost all grown. She has her career. Yet she's still not completely happy. Why?
So many reasons. I post in here occasionally because I have things I want to get off my chest and I have no one else to talk to about it. I've never received counseling. I don't want to go there. When I read negative comments that people write about me - it's upsetting. I tell myself that they don't know the whole story - blah blah blah! But really, why be nasty in the first place? It's not needed.
People write into this forum because they're reaching out. We don't get the full story. Be careful with your words - and if you don't have anything SUPPORTIVE to say. Don't say anything at all. It's fine to offer an alternative perspective and it's even helpful. Just remember it's a sisterhood. How would you talk to your sister?
On the whole I love this place. It makes me laugh and cry. It makes me feel normal.
I wonder if something like this was around when I was a ten year old and my mother could access it.
Would things be different?
My ten year old self - contains triggering content
My ten year old self - contains triggering content
Posted in:
Mental Health
8 Replies
WOW!!!! I read pretty much everything on here, but this really grabbed me!
I know this means nothing coming from a stranger that has no idea what you have been through or what goes through your head, but I am so deeply sorry that this happened to you and your sisters!
You are spot on with this post, I also posted a little whole ago asking why some of these woman on here think it's ok to slam other woman who are asking for help/advice..
The only thing I can come up with is that they can be bitter about something happening in their own lives, they might see something in someone else's post that they think they have been hard done by and then take it out on the poor IM posting!
I honestly wish you all the best IM, you really are an amazing woman and I hope you know this.xxxx
Powerful words. You are a strong woman. Xx
Thank you for sharing. You are a amazing woman. Hope you find your complete happiness. You deserve it. Xx
Btw. I wrote this not to ask for pity. Thank you for those that have responded.
It was just to highlight the power of kindness.
I've written posts on here (not many - around 5. This is the 5th) and to me they're real issues and they are upsetting. That's why I'm writing about it!
Then to have strangers say things like - you're selfish, be grateful for what you have, you're immature... And belittle my question. It's hurtful.
Trust me. I am grateful for what I have. I feel pretty damn lucky most days. I've worked damn hard to get where I am too.
I'm still finding my way, and omg I'm human and make mistakes.
There is always at least one negative person. I try not to focus on the negative but gee it's hard.
I wish they would just keep scrolling if they feel the urge to post a negative comment... It is only 1% of people though. Let's put it into perspective :)
You might like to try coaching instead of counselling. I can recommend highly Trudi Ann from Life Ring Coaching. She can perform hypnotherapy, meditation, NLP and a number of other things to help you move past the blocks from your life. She is an inspiring lady, been through enough of her own stuff to know where you are coming from. www.lifering.com.au is her website.
Doesn't matter where you go or what you do, there will always be people who have something negative to say. Your story touched me deeply, I my self was abused from a young age. Luckily my Mother believed and supported me when it came to light. I am a Mother now and I know I will always listen to my child and be here to support her. Your mother made a different choice it seems, I don't understand why and it makes me extremely sad, and if I'm honest, angry. However, you've made it through and you have become a woman who has built a life despite the hardship, so many don't. Be proud of yourself, you're stronger than you think. Take what you need from this site and leave the negativity behind. Nobody knows you and nobody can judge until they have walked in your shoes. Chin up, head high and remember, you're not alone out there. I think, when you have been abused, it will always be there, it never completely goes, but you've made a life for yourself. It's ok if you're still battling your demons, just don't let them take over. Remember, you're stronger than you think xo
Brought me to tears. Too close to home. Yet I don't talk to my mother haven't in almost 20 years, she'll never be my mum again, just the women who gave birth to me.
I always think that if I let my past get to me, he wins. If I pick myself up, lift my chin and take on life and happiness, I win. Good luck mumma xxx
I was abused too. Not in the sane way. When my father left my mother. She kept us and moved us interstate while pregnant.
She couldn't handle life and she didn't like me. She broke down tried to commit suicide and take my youngest sister with her (a baby at the time), it was only me she'd beat i still have scars, i had to take responsibility of my sisters and try and attempt school and if i wasn't home on time after school she'd lock me out of the house to go sleep in a park somewhere. Long story short.
That was 14 year old me.
But after years of abuse i have a husband who loves me, a home I'm never locked out of, a warm bed every night, a job and everything i could ever desire.
As for closure, i haven't really gotten over it. Having a daughter of my own helps, to adore her and know i will do my absolute best to guide her through life.
But i had an idea, this might sound stupid, but 14 year old me loved Paris. The art, the old buildings, everything.
So I'm going, at the end of the year, I'm taking a lock and i heard you can lock them on the eiffel tower. I'm going to attempt that for 14 year old me. So she can stay in paris.