Hello Imperfect Mums... I've just been thinking! :-)
When you see that mum at school all frazzled - do you assume she is having a rough morning or not coping with it all?
Or when you visit that new friend with a run down cluttered house - do you think that's what's going on in her mind? - no room to think and she needs some clearing time?
I find these are the immediate thoughts that run through my head - until I catch myself and remember that sometimes IT IS ME who is the frazzled mum or has the cluttered house!!
And when I am, it is usually because I've just given up caring what others think! Usually those days, when my outside or house is like that is when I am most free. When I give up caring about your perception of me - I have less to do! And then more time!
I have the other mums at school, on those 'rough exterior' days, asking if I'm ok sympathetically etc (lovely ladies!) and thus, brings me full circle to my question again...
What do you think when you see that mumma or her are allowed into her home?
Does your outside reflect your inside? Or are there too many masks in the world? Are you only ok when you look amazing? Or do you look amazing to hide you're not ok and stop the questions?
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and honesty lovely ladies. I totally LOVE this page!! Thank you Kristy for giving us a place to be ourselves!!!
3 Replies
I don't care what people think. I care about what works for me. The truth for me is when my home is messy it means Im not doing well. Not because I care what you think of my house but because I care if I can find things easily and typically I can't find what I need when my home is messy, find it harder to cook etc in my small kitchen and my disabled son has more difficulty coping. When I leave the house I'm just as likely to be wearing track suit and slippers as I am gym gear as I am full makeup. It's what is convenient and enjoyable for me at the time. So though I enjoy looking my best for me, I don't care what someone else thinks of me because I gave up caring as a teenager when I realised someone no matter how much effort you put in was going to find fault!
I love this page. Thank you Kristy for providing it.
So for me.
I'm a teacher and I go to work in 'comfy' clothes. I see the other teachers in their dresses and high heels. No thanks. I hope I'm more approachable but I wouldn't know. No one has told me any different.
My classroom. It HAS to be tidy! My house. It HAS to be tidy too (except the kids bedrooms. I shut the door. They get a fortnightly clean up). That's just how I like things.
I tend to look at people's expressions to gauge what they're thinking and feeling rather than what their appearance. Maybe that's just a teacher thing? We get so used to 'reading' kids to direct our teaching.
Yes. People definitely put on masks. We are all guilty of that.
Well, it is a catch 22 yes the house and personal hygiene gets let go because I don't care and I'm relaxing, but then after a while it causes the stress and reflects the internal. Ita much nicer to relax in a clean fresh house ( or do anything foe that matter) than in a messy one. Interesting that one of the first things psych recommended was that when stress starts to build up or relationship issues start, to clean up the house.