Hi ladies,
My hubby and I are in the planning/talking stages of starting our own little family. However, I am worried about having a natural birth as I was raped and having any focus on my lady parts makes me very anxious (and having male docs down there). Has anyone else had a natural birth after going through all this? How did u get ur head around it? I do have some damage/scarring down there which does seem to tear easily with sex. Ouch!
Of course I know about C sections, I just want to head towards a natural birth and start thinking along these lines now. (I am seeing a psycologist and dealing with it too before ppl suggest this!)
Thanks
X
6 Replies
I think you just have to be really honest with your midwife. If you go with a vaginal birth in the public system, they don't generally do too many cervical checks during labour because it's considered interference. Unless things go wrong in the delivery room then you will most likely only have one or two midwives with you. You could maybe try for a water birth as well? You would still have to have a few cervical checks throughout labour but mostly you get to enjoy the privacy of the water. I was sexually assaulted a few years ago and it was extremely hard to let go of my privacy. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Good luck!
i had my son 5 years ago and i am 18 weeks pregnant with number 2. with my son nobody touched my lady parts until i was in labour amd it was one female midwife for 8 hours of labour then another once her shift finished. they checked my dilation every 3-4 hours and put a catheter in other than that nobody touched me. maybe i was lucky and sometimes you do have a few people touching you i am definitely hoping my next labour is as laid back as the first!
Creating a birth plan that is truthful to how you are feeling is important. I have worked with other women to birth after rape, the key factors can be creating a plan to ensure that you feel safe at all times. Vaginal examinations (VEs) can be falttly refused if that is what you need. It's your right to refuse a VE. I do Energy Healing that is most effective as it will help you become intuitive and clear about what you need, shift some stuff but not require you to revisit stories. you can learn more if ou're interested at www.supportingmotherhood.com.au
I have always struggled with Male doctors after a bad experience as a child so I point blank refused to let males be involved in my births. I let the midwives know and as I was going through the doctors clinic at the hospital and didnt get a say on what dr's I saw I made it very clear to the male dr's that it was a no go zone lol. I offended a couple male dr's (unintentionally) but you have to be comfortable and it's your body. Best wishes to you :)
I have always struggled with Male doctors after a bad experience as a child so I point blank refused to let males be involved in my births. I let the midwives know and as I was going through the doctors clinic at the hospital and didnt get a say on what dr's I saw I made it very clear to the male dr's that it was a no go zone lol. I offended a couple male dr's (unintentionally) but you have to be comfortable and it's your body. Best wishes to you :)
If you go private you have more say as you chose your Ob so you could select a female. Otherwise I would go thru a private midwife program they now have in public hospitals. You do need to notify them early on as they book up quickly. All the best I'm sorry you had to go thru something so horrible.