I would like to hear from mums who have gone through or are going through something similar to my friend. Long story short (well as short as possible), my friend left an abusive relationship about a month after their baby was born. The father of the child threatened her and told her to abort or he would make her life hell etc. He then decided he would like another child (has a teenage son from a previous relationship). He continued to abuse her throughout the pregnancy, and when the child was born he was out partying on a week long bender. Forgot to pick her and the child up from hospital upon discharge etc. Anyway she finally found the courage to leave him and since then her life has been made hell by this man. They have been through court, evidence has been given that he also abuses the child while in his custody, threats have been made and lots of his days of visitation have been cancelled by him (17 alone in the last two months). The courts have still decided that this child needs a father figure and his custody has not been stopped. My friend is at her wits end. This man is now in a new relationship with a lady who has two children of her own, and they are now trying to get full custody of my friends child, saying she is a bad mother etc. These people have been reported to docs by their neighbours, my friend has explored every avenue she can think of to try and do what's best for her child but no department wants to help her. The kicker was when he came home from his visit with his father and called my friend "c***" instead of mum. And when my friend showed him a photo of his new fathers girlfriend, he called her "mum" and "new mum". This child not even two years old and has been through so much, so many cases of abuse and my friend takes him to the hospital each time to have it documented, but still nothing is being done. So my question is - is there anyone that has been through this that can recommend someone for my friend to speak to. She is willing to go anywhere in Queensland to get the help she needs to help save her son before he ends up dead from these horrible abusive people.
3 Replies
does she have or ever had an Intervention order on him? this would help her case, also any family programs their? check community service providers, although this is mainly a family court issues, they should have a 'safe at home' and 'childs advocacy' program. try and get her to involve her child as much as possible to prove that she is an involved parent. if he is going to make a case against her then she needs to provide documents that she is involved. also get as much dirt on him as possible, document any injuries and attitudes the child gets in his care (photos, dates etc.) also if he is not paying child support (which is mandatory) put that against him. I know it sounds a lot, the only other thing that is possible.. if he isn't paying child support and there is no family court order (please check this thoroughly), she can leave the state, start a new... basically hide. hope this helps
Thanks so much for the advice. Unfortunately there is a family court order in place so it's very hard. The courts believe that this child needs to have a father figure (as in most cases these days) so they are basically ignoring the fact that he is violent. He also assaulted my friend in front of the court house immediately after the last hearing and nothing was done. She has over 100 documented cases of bruises, cuts etc. but they just don't want to hear it. No one is taking her seriously. He is also paying child support, but he wants to try and get full custody so he doesn't pay (I know it doesn't make sense because he is going to have full time costs anyway but he is just doing this to make her life difficult). Thank you so much for responding, I will pass this info on to her and hopefully something you have suggested will help her. Bless you xx
Oh dear, sounds like she needs a really good lawyer :(
No advice sorry, must be so stressful for her.